Well, after a month of cloying ads on TV and the three songs that make me truly hate Christmas (that Paul McCartney nonsense-the worst Christmas song ever, the hippopotamus drivel and Eartha Kitt's "Santa Baby") and make me reconsider Festivus as a viable holiday alternative...we're almost there...almost out of the woods.
I plan to watch my favorite Christmas movies this weekend: "The Ref" with Denis Leary, "Scrooged" with Bill Murray (a guilty pleasure with great subtext about the value of a charitable heart) and of course "Christmas Vacation." I highly recommend all three!
No "It's a Wonderful Life" for this cowboy...I guess I'm too cynical.
Cynicism aside, I do believe in giving at this time of year. Happy giving. Fearless giving. True gifts of love and kindness. True giving usually means awkward reactions when I get overwhelming gratitude, because I long ago learned that it's not about the reward, it's about the gift.
I have a gift for you, good and patient reader. You've stuck by me through the good posts and bad, and now comes the time for my thanks to you. Send me the ad of your choice to dan@guerrilladirector.com for a free evaluation and personal recommendation to power it up. No hooks. No catches. No obligation.
Yellow pages ad? Bring it on. Newspaper? You bet. A radio spot? Fire away!
I'll analyze, ponder and offer suggestions for tweaks to increase their drawing power.
Free. Costs you nothing. Zip. Nada. My gift to you for putting up with my someetimes aimless mental meanderings.
As you ponder your personal and business course of action for the new year, remember that what you give away is returned to you tenfold. The Karmic Law of the Universe which you find translated into every language and every religious text in some manner or another.
You know what that means.
It means that it's true.
No one has yet found an argument against the virtues of charity, mercy and kindness. The key is your motivation. Give for the sake of giving, not for the sake of what you'll get in return. The less you expect, the more you will receive.
That's the crazy, enigmatic part of the law. And the longer I'm alive, the stronger and truer the law fixes itself. I adhere to it faithfully.
And that means you can send me whatever you want, and I'll get it back to you-better, stronger, faster-the Six Million Dollar Ad. It will be razor sharp and ready for you to take aim on 2008 as THE force to be reckoned with in your market.
My gift to you.
Don't wait. The first ones in line always get the best ride!
Merry Christmas. I wish to all of you and your families a peaceful, memorable and blessed holiday. I bid you the best tidings for a prosperous 2008.
Thank you, friends. You've made 2007 my most successful year ever. I hope to make 2008 YOUR most successful year ever.
Warmly,
Dan Heaman, CFSP
The Guerrilla Director
dan@guerrilladirector.com
PS~Want me to review and comment on your website? Send me the address to my email. Free for the remainder of the year!
Friday, December 21, 2007
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
A Thousand Little Details....
Fearless, yet Gentle Readers:
I wrote the following piece as a submission to a publication that never acknowledged its receipt. After sending a follow up to see if they had received it, or if it needed revision, I got no reply. So, rather than "letting the words of my youth slip away" as our pig-tailed friend Mr. Nelson sings, here ya go!
A Thousand Little Details...
How Superior Attitude and Attention Wins You Customers Forever
My four year old daughter is exceptionally brave. I took her to a local amusement park and she demanded to ride the weather-beaten wooden coaster tucked away at the back end of the park.
Autumn’s first leafy victims skittered across the asphalt as I explained how fast the ride went, the ups and downs and sharp turns…all in a vain attempt to turn her interest to something kinder to my stomach.
No such luck.
Fortunately, short lines helped keep my thoughts moving, and as I stared up at the flaking wooden beams, wondering silently about the number of termite family hoedowns currently in progress as well as thoughts of the young (possibly hung over) college kid who did the maintenance check on it this morning. I gazed at an ungodly number of screws and bolts that were laying on the ground around the concrete support base. And I thought to myself, “The difference between this being a good experience and a nightmare is a thousand little details.”
Details like how many of those screws had been replaced. And the (hopefully) sharp eyes of the person who inspected it in the morning before the first riders were allowed on.
Your own customer’s experience is also completely dependent on a thousand little details. Details that are mostly ignored by low-end price competitors. I spoke with owner of a discount operation here in my hometown who told me about all the things he does “just like the big guys.”
Like what? Put the body in a casket? Drive the hearse to the cemetery and put the casket in the ground? Maybe. But that’s where the similarity ends.
I vividly recall another thing he told me. “I don’t offer any of that hand-holding baloney.”
Ah yes, nothing repels customers more during a time of loss and sorrow like comfort and guidance.
A quick check of the phone book shows me this guy’s no longer in business. His original business name included the phrase “removal” in it. “Removal?”
Stump removal? How about refuse removal? Personally, I can’t fathom hiring a “removal” firm to take care of my mom. Especially one who’s only concern is their convenience and your checkbook. I feel better after the “removal” of his company listing from the phone book.
Your company name is a big detail to your customer. Don’t try to be cute or preachy…both can sabotage your marketing efforts.
A thousand little details. This is where you get to shine. You are in the business of holding hands with your customer. Be ready, be knowledgeable and be genuine. Listen to those little stories that families often share during the course of an arrangement. That’s where you get most of those little details. A favorite song. (For .99 with iTunes you can make a whammy of an impression on a family by downloading a song and burning a CD to play at the visitation or service.) Favorite foods, holidays or poems. Beloved scripture readings or ministers. (Do you REALLY want to score points? Do some homework to try and locate that long ago priest or minister that they loved so much.)
A thousand little details. Like your manicured grounds and landscape. Come on, people. Curb appeal is a very, very powerful marketing tool. An immaculate, pleasantly aromatic facility. Invest in some high-quality scented oil air fresheners that you plug in. (They’re about $4 to $6 at the store.) Food scents (like apple-cinnamon) are particularly good.
A thousand little details. A friendly, professional voice answering your phone. Warm and engaging greeters to direct families and their visitors. High-quality, attractive motor equipment (yours or rented) can make powerful impressions on families and attendees. The more professional, thoughtful and distinctive image you convey, the smaller your marketing budget needs to be.
Got your holiday shopping done yet? Give yourself (and your business) a gift this year. The gift of profits beyond expectations. The gift of unprecedented success. The gift of focused fearless leadership. The gift of an on-site visit from the Guerrilla Director. Call me at 314-640-9770 for details.
Cheers!
Dan Heaman, CFSP
The Guerrilla Director
I wrote the following piece as a submission to a publication that never acknowledged its receipt. After sending a follow up to see if they had received it, or if it needed revision, I got no reply. So, rather than "letting the words of my youth slip away" as our pig-tailed friend Mr. Nelson sings, here ya go!
A Thousand Little Details...
How Superior Attitude and Attention Wins You Customers Forever
My four year old daughter is exceptionally brave. I took her to a local amusement park and she demanded to ride the weather-beaten wooden coaster tucked away at the back end of the park.
Autumn’s first leafy victims skittered across the asphalt as I explained how fast the ride went, the ups and downs and sharp turns…all in a vain attempt to turn her interest to something kinder to my stomach.
No such luck.
Fortunately, short lines helped keep my thoughts moving, and as I stared up at the flaking wooden beams, wondering silently about the number of termite family hoedowns currently in progress as well as thoughts of the young (possibly hung over) college kid who did the maintenance check on it this morning. I gazed at an ungodly number of screws and bolts that were laying on the ground around the concrete support base. And I thought to myself, “The difference between this being a good experience and a nightmare is a thousand little details.”
Details like how many of those screws had been replaced. And the (hopefully) sharp eyes of the person who inspected it in the morning before the first riders were allowed on.
Your own customer’s experience is also completely dependent on a thousand little details. Details that are mostly ignored by low-end price competitors. I spoke with owner of a discount operation here in my hometown who told me about all the things he does “just like the big guys.”
Like what? Put the body in a casket? Drive the hearse to the cemetery and put the casket in the ground? Maybe. But that’s where the similarity ends.
I vividly recall another thing he told me. “I don’t offer any of that hand-holding baloney.”
Ah yes, nothing repels customers more during a time of loss and sorrow like comfort and guidance.
A quick check of the phone book shows me this guy’s no longer in business. His original business name included the phrase “removal” in it. “Removal?”
Stump removal? How about refuse removal? Personally, I can’t fathom hiring a “removal” firm to take care of my mom. Especially one who’s only concern is their convenience and your checkbook. I feel better after the “removal” of his company listing from the phone book.
Your company name is a big detail to your customer. Don’t try to be cute or preachy…both can sabotage your marketing efforts.
A thousand little details. This is where you get to shine. You are in the business of holding hands with your customer. Be ready, be knowledgeable and be genuine. Listen to those little stories that families often share during the course of an arrangement. That’s where you get most of those little details. A favorite song. (For .99 with iTunes you can make a whammy of an impression on a family by downloading a song and burning a CD to play at the visitation or service.) Favorite foods, holidays or poems. Beloved scripture readings or ministers. (Do you REALLY want to score points? Do some homework to try and locate that long ago priest or minister that they loved so much.)
A thousand little details. Like your manicured grounds and landscape. Come on, people. Curb appeal is a very, very powerful marketing tool. An immaculate, pleasantly aromatic facility. Invest in some high-quality scented oil air fresheners that you plug in. (They’re about $4 to $6 at the store.) Food scents (like apple-cinnamon) are particularly good.
A thousand little details. A friendly, professional voice answering your phone. Warm and engaging greeters to direct families and their visitors. High-quality, attractive motor equipment (yours or rented) can make powerful impressions on families and attendees. The more professional, thoughtful and distinctive image you convey, the smaller your marketing budget needs to be.
Got your holiday shopping done yet? Give yourself (and your business) a gift this year. The gift of profits beyond expectations. The gift of unprecedented success. The gift of focused fearless leadership. The gift of an on-site visit from the Guerrilla Director. Call me at 314-640-9770 for details.
Cheers!
Dan Heaman, CFSP
The Guerrilla Director
Monday, December 3, 2007
Has Your Tiger Died?
Greetings Friends!
Alas! Ol' Man Winter has seized us, not to relent until the Great Axis rotates and the Druids do the ancient equinox dance...
I find myself (as all do now and then) with an increasing amount of life frustration. And then I reread a mailing from a man I've met, yet listened to many times. The wonderful thing about reading something like this is that no matter how many times you read, it has the same effect...
It's something akin to throwing fresh coal on a dwindling fire...a long burn with intense heat.
We all need some extra heat, especially now - to kick Winter in the pants.
I was speaking with a funeral home owner yesterday who responded to my inquiry about the quality of his business year with the words "business was flat, no gain but no loss." And he seemed to be absolutely positively fine with that!!!!!
In fact you could hear the relief in his voice that he didn't go backwards.
How sad.
Are you satisfied with mediocrity?
Have you conceded defeat to being just average?
I have not. Acceptance of mediocrity is contemptible. This owner could be seizing a once in a lifetime opportunity to fairly and honestly rip market share from another larger firm on the cusp of making a grave business mistake...and yet, he's content to do what he's always done.
Contentment with being average will be on the cause of death line of your firm's death certificate. Contributing factors will include fear, laziness and failure to seize golden opportunities like the one he is passing on.
Don't play Salieri to your competitor's Mozart. BE Mozart for God's sake!
Want some free fuel for your fire? Email me at dan@guerrilladirector.com and I'll forward something to you that will stoke those flames, I promise you!
The title of this post might give some of the more astute readers a hint!
Don't let your fire grow dim....if there's embers there can be success!
You aren't giving up your business and prosperity up to the Ol' Man Winter of Mediocrity, are you?
If so, let me know. Those of us with guts will sing the Requiem for you.
Toasting your success!
Dan Heaman, CFSP
The Guerrilla Director
PS - Need your preneed sales team fired up too? Still getting hung up on while cold-calling? That's a shame. I can help.
PPS - Attention blog readers...your chance to take advantage of the 2008 12 Month Profit Makeover plan is just about gone. So much for you to gain for only $150 a month. How can you lose with that? If the ideas you gain only net you a couple of extra funerals, you're on the winning side. But I'll bet if you use all of these tactics and bonuses offered in this plan YOU WILL BE WONDERING WHAT THE HELL TO DO WITH ALL THE MONEY BY THIS TIME NEXT YEAR! The cost of the plan is so much less than the cost of doing nothing.
I'm going to update you regularly with the owner who I spoke of in this post. Doing nothing is going to cost him dearly...because a more savvy owner is circling like a shark, more than happy to do what the other won't.
dan@guerrilladirector.com
Alas! Ol' Man Winter has seized us, not to relent until the Great Axis rotates and the Druids do the ancient equinox dance...
I find myself (as all do now and then) with an increasing amount of life frustration. And then I reread a mailing from a man I've met, yet listened to many times. The wonderful thing about reading something like this is that no matter how many times you read, it has the same effect...
It's something akin to throwing fresh coal on a dwindling fire...a long burn with intense heat.
We all need some extra heat, especially now - to kick Winter in the pants.
I was speaking with a funeral home owner yesterday who responded to my inquiry about the quality of his business year with the words "business was flat, no gain but no loss." And he seemed to be absolutely positively fine with that!!!!!
In fact you could hear the relief in his voice that he didn't go backwards.
How sad.
Are you satisfied with mediocrity?
Have you conceded defeat to being just average?
I have not. Acceptance of mediocrity is contemptible. This owner could be seizing a once in a lifetime opportunity to fairly and honestly rip market share from another larger firm on the cusp of making a grave business mistake...and yet, he's content to do what he's always done.
Contentment with being average will be on the cause of death line of your firm's death certificate. Contributing factors will include fear, laziness and failure to seize golden opportunities like the one he is passing on.
Don't play Salieri to your competitor's Mozart. BE Mozart for God's sake!
Want some free fuel for your fire? Email me at dan@guerrilladirector.com and I'll forward something to you that will stoke those flames, I promise you!
The title of this post might give some of the more astute readers a hint!
Don't let your fire grow dim....if there's embers there can be success!
You aren't giving up your business and prosperity up to the Ol' Man Winter of Mediocrity, are you?
If so, let me know. Those of us with guts will sing the Requiem for you.
Toasting your success!
Dan Heaman, CFSP
The Guerrilla Director
PS - Need your preneed sales team fired up too? Still getting hung up on while cold-calling? That's a shame. I can help.
PPS - Attention blog readers...your chance to take advantage of the 2008 12 Month Profit Makeover plan is just about gone. So much for you to gain for only $150 a month. How can you lose with that? If the ideas you gain only net you a couple of extra funerals, you're on the winning side. But I'll bet if you use all of these tactics and bonuses offered in this plan YOU WILL BE WONDERING WHAT THE HELL TO DO WITH ALL THE MONEY BY THIS TIME NEXT YEAR! The cost of the plan is so much less than the cost of doing nothing.
I'm going to update you regularly with the owner who I spoke of in this post. Doing nothing is going to cost him dearly...because a more savvy owner is circling like a shark, more than happy to do what the other won't.
dan@guerrilladirector.com
Monday, November 26, 2007
PASSION=PROFITS!
Have you recovered from the caloric orgy of the holiday yet? (Not me, not even close!)
If you can (and what the hell...I did!) pull yourself from the Stovetop Stuffing stupor and ease your mind back into business and your plans for the coming year...
A couple of weeks ago, I made a bold invitation...to which I've had bold replies of interest. I've put together a PDF brochure to send out to those of you who are interested in learning more about putting the milk back in your cashcow in 2008!
And you know who you are!!
I'm very excited to share this with all of you. I'm excited to know that there is still passion amongst you for what you do. Those with passion will not only survive, but thrive and prosper!
If you're ready, I'll teach you:
*Powerful Marketing Strategies
*How To Make Your Advertising Hypnotic and Unforgettable!
*Techniques on Turning Your Customers into Raving Ambassadors Who Will Market Your Business In the Most Powerful and Effective Way!
*Methods of getting FREE PR, Publicity and Media Coverage
* and a lot more!
Prepare to be blown away!
Imagine what it will feel like as your business volume explodes!
Spots are limited, and blog readers qualify for a 50% discount...because you are a savvy and motivated bunch!
Here's to us in '08!
Warm regards,
Dan Heaman, CFSP
The Guerrilla Director
PS - Send me an email if you want me to send you the brochure!
If you can (and what the hell...I did!) pull yourself from the Stovetop Stuffing stupor and ease your mind back into business and your plans for the coming year...
A couple of weeks ago, I made a bold invitation...to which I've had bold replies of interest. I've put together a PDF brochure to send out to those of you who are interested in learning more about putting the milk back in your cashcow in 2008!
And you know who you are!!
I'm very excited to share this with all of you. I'm excited to know that there is still passion amongst you for what you do. Those with passion will not only survive, but thrive and prosper!
If you're ready, I'll teach you:
*Powerful Marketing Strategies
*How To Make Your Advertising Hypnotic and Unforgettable!
*Techniques on Turning Your Customers into Raving Ambassadors Who Will Market Your Business In the Most Powerful and Effective Way!
*Methods of getting FREE PR, Publicity and Media Coverage
* and a lot more!
Prepare to be blown away!
Imagine what it will feel like as your business volume explodes!
Spots are limited, and blog readers qualify for a 50% discount...because you are a savvy and motivated bunch!
Here's to us in '08!
Warm regards,
Dan Heaman, CFSP
The Guerrilla Director
PS - Send me an email if you want me to send you the brochure!
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Did You Know That Thanksgiving Brings You Wealth?
Here we are...Thanksgiving '07 already. How the time does fly! If you don't mind, I'm going to wax philosophic for this post...in a constructive and interesting way, I hope!
Thanksgiving. Thanks. Giving.
Let's focus on the first half of the term. Thanks. Gratitude. Appreciation.
No matter what your situation, you should be able to examine your life and find some aspects (if not most aspects) of your life to be grateful for. Love. Friendship. Career objectives being pursued and met. The smile of your son or daughter. The cold, wet nose of your four-legged pal. Hope for the future. All good things. By all means, the best of things.
Gratitude is a funny thing. The more you appreciate what you have, the richer you feel. The more thankful you are, the more good things that come your way. The Powers that be like to know that you respect, understand and care for everything they bestow upon you. By showing your gratification, it tells them that it's OK to send some more your way.
"Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others."
-Cicero
I know that there are times when I've felt overwhelmed by good fortune. I was truly and honestly grateful for everything coming my way...and then-
I grew complacent. Took everything for granted. Felt like I was owed something.
And then I knew scarcity, and the fear that comes with it.
Now the second part of the term - giving.
Any of us brought up in a Christian faith remember being told things like "The Lord loves a cheerful giver" and "Tithe faithfully, you'll be rewarded tenfold." Etc. etc.
The older I get, the truer those statements become. Not in the strictly literal translation of giving money to some particular religious institution, but tithing in the Karmic sense. Paying it forward. Random acts of kindness. The times I've enjoyed the most prosperity are the times I've been the most generous to the world around me.
Dropping coins into the red kettle at Christmas. Giving a sawbuck to the couple with the cardboard sign on the freeway off-ramp. Volunteering for something that is meaningful to YOU. Heartfelt generosity in all of its forms brings so much good back to you that it's almost immeasurable.
The key to this is your intention. I know I've probably been rooked into giving money to someone who didn't really need. They were just lazy or dishonest and I was an easy mark.
But here's the thing-I still did a good deed. The bad vibes come back on them, not me. And I'd rather give money to ten people who didn't really need than risk ignoring the one person who depended on my five dollars to eat that night, or to have a warm place to sleep.
SO for those few who are still left reading, who haven't given up on this yet, I'll answer the question "What the hell does this have to do with my making more money?!?"
Gentle reader, in order to restore your success or bolster and improve your success, you must realign yourself with the positive forces of life. Gratitude and generosity in honest everyday practice will bring what you desire in multitudes, my friend. Give, and ye shall receive.
As this holiday season begins...and this year of 2007 winds down, adjust you mindset back to the balance of give and take. Your bankbook will thank you for it.
Thanks. Giving. Thanks for giving me a chance to stand on the old soapbox. I'm grateful for all of you out there. I wish nothing but blessings and prosperity to you and yours for the Holiday Season and the coming year.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Warmly,
Dan Heaman, CFSP
The Guerrilla Director
PS - I'm especially grateful to all of you who have contacted me and asked me to work with you for your business. Cheers to you, together 2008 should be our best year yet!
Thanksgiving. Thanks. Giving.
Let's focus on the first half of the term. Thanks. Gratitude. Appreciation.
No matter what your situation, you should be able to examine your life and find some aspects (if not most aspects) of your life to be grateful for. Love. Friendship. Career objectives being pursued and met. The smile of your son or daughter. The cold, wet nose of your four-legged pal. Hope for the future. All good things. By all means, the best of things.
Gratitude is a funny thing. The more you appreciate what you have, the richer you feel. The more thankful you are, the more good things that come your way. The Powers that be like to know that you respect, understand and care for everything they bestow upon you. By showing your gratification, it tells them that it's OK to send some more your way.
"Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others."
-Cicero
I know that there are times when I've felt overwhelmed by good fortune. I was truly and honestly grateful for everything coming my way...and then-
I grew complacent. Took everything for granted. Felt like I was owed something.
And then I knew scarcity, and the fear that comes with it.
Now the second part of the term - giving.
Any of us brought up in a Christian faith remember being told things like "The Lord loves a cheerful giver" and "Tithe faithfully, you'll be rewarded tenfold." Etc. etc.
The older I get, the truer those statements become. Not in the strictly literal translation of giving money to some particular religious institution, but tithing in the Karmic sense. Paying it forward. Random acts of kindness. The times I've enjoyed the most prosperity are the times I've been the most generous to the world around me.
Dropping coins into the red kettle at Christmas. Giving a sawbuck to the couple with the cardboard sign on the freeway off-ramp. Volunteering for something that is meaningful to YOU. Heartfelt generosity in all of its forms brings so much good back to you that it's almost immeasurable.
The key to this is your intention. I know I've probably been rooked into giving money to someone who didn't really need. They were just lazy or dishonest and I was an easy mark.
But here's the thing-I still did a good deed. The bad vibes come back on them, not me. And I'd rather give money to ten people who didn't really need than risk ignoring the one person who depended on my five dollars to eat that night, or to have a warm place to sleep.
SO for those few who are still left reading, who haven't given up on this yet, I'll answer the question "What the hell does this have to do with my making more money?!?"
Gentle reader, in order to restore your success or bolster and improve your success, you must realign yourself with the positive forces of life. Gratitude and generosity in honest everyday practice will bring what you desire in multitudes, my friend. Give, and ye shall receive.
As this holiday season begins...and this year of 2007 winds down, adjust you mindset back to the balance of give and take. Your bankbook will thank you for it.
Thanks. Giving. Thanks for giving me a chance to stand on the old soapbox. I'm grateful for all of you out there. I wish nothing but blessings and prosperity to you and yours for the Holiday Season and the coming year.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Warmly,
Dan Heaman, CFSP
The Guerrilla Director
PS - I'm especially grateful to all of you who have contacted me and asked me to work with you for your business. Cheers to you, together 2008 should be our best year yet!
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
A Post...with Roy Williams Deserving All of the Credit!
I get a wonderful publication from a unique institution of learning (of which I am proud to call myself a graduate.)
It's called the Wizard Academy. All geek jokes aside, it has been one of the more positive forces in my career in advertising and marketing.
Like any master (in the truest sense of the word) Roy Williams inspires with his words. Genuine Masters instruct and inspire.
This memo blew me away. I hope it stirs your soul as well. Click on the title of this blog post and buckle yourself in for what it might unleash!
Boldly yours,
Dan
PS - My favorite line from it?
The tiger who fails is still a tiger. We do not laugh at it. A tiger is spectacular.
Go get 'em, Tiger!
D
www.guerrilladirector.com
It's called the Wizard Academy. All geek jokes aside, it has been one of the more positive forces in my career in advertising and marketing.
Like any master (in the truest sense of the word) Roy Williams inspires with his words. Genuine Masters instruct and inspire.
This memo blew me away. I hope it stirs your soul as well. Click on the title of this blog post and buckle yourself in for what it might unleash!
Boldly yours,
Dan
PS - My favorite line from it?
The tiger who fails is still a tiger. We do not laugh at it. A tiger is spectacular.
Go get 'em, Tiger!
D
www.guerrilladirector.com
Thursday, November 8, 2007
For They Conquer Who Believe They Can!
Thank you, John Dryden.
There's a little funeral home not too far away from my home. I almost bought it a few years ago. It was a former powerhouse presence in the neighborhood, with a long rich history and facility like no other. And then, distant ownership (in various forms) took over and ran it into the ground.
A smoldering 35 call a year wreck of a once-great name...we all know at least one of those, don't we?
Here's the thing-no one has learned from their mistakes with this place. It won't ever be a 300+ funerals a year firm again, but it could easily reach 100 to 150 again.
Easily.
I wrote a blog entry awhile back where I pleaded with you, Gentle Reader, not to be your own worst enemy. The litany of business folly associated with the firm in question shows its owners to be worthy of a virtual post office poster plastered under the words "Private Enemy #1."
That is, they only hurt their own business and reputation.
Now, several of you are probably in the position during these dwindling days of '07 to be considering what to do with a poorly-performing property. Maybe it's a satellite operation of the main one, or maybe it is the main one.
Either way, the situation is probably not as bad as you think. (Note that I said "probably" here, kids. There are some firms that cannot be saved due to the fact that management and/or ownership are either consciously or subconsciously doing everything possible to hasten the demise. Funeral homes don't die of natural causes, they die from poor management.)
WELL I'M THROWING THE GAUNTLET DOWN TODAY!
THIS IS NOT FOR WIMPS OR MILQUETOAST LEADERS. CANDY BUTTS, WHINERS AND DULLARDS NEED NOT APPLY.
The best opportunity of the year for owners of these diamonds in the rough happens today.
I proudly announce the 12 MONTH POWER PROFIT MAKEOVER for your funeral firm.
That's right. Here's the chance to make that old dog new again. Blow your competition away and have your customers singing your praises to all of their friends. They won't know what hit them!
MORE PROFITS! MORE CUSTOMERS! A RE-ENERGIZED BUSINESS!
All with no risk to you.
So the question is this...listen closely:
Are you going to spend the last few weeks of the year losing sleep and worrying about what to do with your business?
OR
Are you going to take control of this situation and spend the next 7 weeks building a plan to hit full force starting January 1 (if not sooner)?
What are you waiting for? You're ready to make more money, aren't you?
Summon every bit of brains and guts you got...it's going to be a wild and fun ride back into realm of success. Call me and we'll get you back on track for less than the price of a small Yellow Pages ad.
The war drums are beating again, guerrillas. It's time to make a stand!
Here's to the few of us with the fortitude to seek what we want and go for it!
I'll be here waiting to see who joins us on this noble quest. 2008 and the funeral business will never be the same.
FORTUNE BEFRIENDS THE BOLD
You coming?
Yahhooooo!
Dan
PS - The bold (pun intended) quote up the is also from John Dryden. I hope he lived as boldly as he wrote. I plan to...do you? Call me, my number is 314-640-9770.
The first few to respond will pay 50%($1500)less than the slowpokes, because motivated people are successful people, and are easier to work with.
The MOST SUCCESSFUL FIRM of this program will get EVERY DIME OF THEIR MONEY RETURNED as a reward for their hard work.
Now, you truly have nothing to lose!
There's a little funeral home not too far away from my home. I almost bought it a few years ago. It was a former powerhouse presence in the neighborhood, with a long rich history and facility like no other. And then, distant ownership (in various forms) took over and ran it into the ground.
A smoldering 35 call a year wreck of a once-great name...we all know at least one of those, don't we?
Here's the thing-no one has learned from their mistakes with this place. It won't ever be a 300+ funerals a year firm again, but it could easily reach 100 to 150 again.
Easily.
I wrote a blog entry awhile back where I pleaded with you, Gentle Reader, not to be your own worst enemy. The litany of business folly associated with the firm in question shows its owners to be worthy of a virtual post office poster plastered under the words "Private Enemy #1."
That is, they only hurt their own business and reputation.
Now, several of you are probably in the position during these dwindling days of '07 to be considering what to do with a poorly-performing property. Maybe it's a satellite operation of the main one, or maybe it is the main one.
Either way, the situation is probably not as bad as you think. (Note that I said "probably" here, kids. There are some firms that cannot be saved due to the fact that management and/or ownership are either consciously or subconsciously doing everything possible to hasten the demise. Funeral homes don't die of natural causes, they die from poor management.)
WELL I'M THROWING THE GAUNTLET DOWN TODAY!
THIS IS NOT FOR WIMPS OR MILQUETOAST LEADERS. CANDY BUTTS, WHINERS AND DULLARDS NEED NOT APPLY.
The best opportunity of the year for owners of these diamonds in the rough happens today.
I proudly announce the 12 MONTH POWER PROFIT MAKEOVER for your funeral firm.
That's right. Here's the chance to make that old dog new again. Blow your competition away and have your customers singing your praises to all of their friends. They won't know what hit them!
MORE PROFITS! MORE CUSTOMERS! A RE-ENERGIZED BUSINESS!
All with no risk to you.
So the question is this...listen closely:
Are you going to spend the last few weeks of the year losing sleep and worrying about what to do with your business?
OR
Are you going to take control of this situation and spend the next 7 weeks building a plan to hit full force starting January 1 (if not sooner)?
What are you waiting for? You're ready to make more money, aren't you?
Summon every bit of brains and guts you got...it's going to be a wild and fun ride back into realm of success. Call me and we'll get you back on track for less than the price of a small Yellow Pages ad.
The war drums are beating again, guerrillas. It's time to make a stand!
Here's to the few of us with the fortitude to seek what we want and go for it!
I'll be here waiting to see who joins us on this noble quest. 2008 and the funeral business will never be the same.
FORTUNE BEFRIENDS THE BOLD
You coming?
Yahhooooo!
Dan
PS - The bold (pun intended) quote up the is also from John Dryden. I hope he lived as boldly as he wrote. I plan to...do you? Call me, my number is 314-640-9770.
The first few to respond will pay 50%($1500)less than the slowpokes, because motivated people are successful people, and are easier to work with.
The MOST SUCCESSFUL FIRM of this program will get EVERY DIME OF THEIR MONEY RETURNED as a reward for their hard work.
Now, you truly have nothing to lose!
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
A Bonus Post!
Actually, it's more of a late-evolving thought.
Here's an idea for a last minute PR event for those of you inclined or in need for some good & easy publicity.
Set up a Halloween Safety Stop either at your firm or somewhere close where trick or treaters can go if they feel scared or threatened or if they just need a rest. Get a tent from your vault company and set it up in your parking lot or nearby park or other high traffic (foot traffic, that is) area for kids trick or treating. Coordinate with your local police/sheriff to have an officer there (better yet, the DARE car if they have one, or their Department mascot or McGruff the Crime Dog, you get the idea. )
Have candy to hand out, maybe bottles of water for the parents. Giveaways are always good, people love the freebies. Decorate with hay bales, cornstalks and Jack o'Lanterns.
Then publicize the heck out of it. Send press releases to the radio/TV/newspapers. Mention in the TV releases that there are photo ops of kids and the families, or the DARE car or McGruff if you get him, and make sure you're set up by 4:00pm so that a TV crew can set up and do a live broadcast from your spot for the 5 o'clock news.
If you do it right, you can probably get this done for $200 or less. You'll get a lot of exposure and good PR in exchange for that paltry sum.
Just food for thought!
Happy Halloween! (My personal favorite holiday, in case you were wondering.)
Dan
www.guerrilladirector.com
Here's an idea for a last minute PR event for those of you inclined or in need for some good & easy publicity.
Set up a Halloween Safety Stop either at your firm or somewhere close where trick or treaters can go if they feel scared or threatened or if they just need a rest. Get a tent from your vault company and set it up in your parking lot or nearby park or other high traffic (foot traffic, that is) area for kids trick or treating. Coordinate with your local police/sheriff to have an officer there (better yet, the DARE car if they have one, or their Department mascot or McGruff the Crime Dog, you get the idea. )
Have candy to hand out, maybe bottles of water for the parents. Giveaways are always good, people love the freebies. Decorate with hay bales, cornstalks and Jack o'Lanterns.
Then publicize the heck out of it. Send press releases to the radio/TV/newspapers. Mention in the TV releases that there are photo ops of kids and the families, or the DARE car or McGruff if you get him, and make sure you're set up by 4:00pm so that a TV crew can set up and do a live broadcast from your spot for the 5 o'clock news.
If you do it right, you can probably get this done for $200 or less. You'll get a lot of exposure and good PR in exchange for that paltry sum.
Just food for thought!
Happy Halloween! (My personal favorite holiday, in case you were wondering.)
Dan
www.guerrilladirector.com
Merry Christmas, Norman Rockwell!
My soon to be new boss was walking me through on a tour of the funeral home. He spoke with misty eyes and froggy throat about the years of family tradition and his personal favorite...their holiday remembrance service.
"The music, the fireplaces crackling, the tree and decorations...it just feels like Christmas."
He also told me that the owners and staff were just like one big happy family. He failed to specify that he meant the Manson family. :) But I digress.
If you haven't jumped on the holiday program freight train yet, I highly recommend you do so now, while the pumpkins are still in the windows, so you have time to plan it appropriately.
I'll leave it to you whether you think it should be an open house type format, or a memorial remembrance service...you should do whatever you believe your community would like. Saturday or Sunday afternoons are times when these have been most successfully held.
Whatever you do...go heavy on the Norman Rockwell.
Music, food, decor-think Martha Stewart meets the Saturday Evening Post. Sights, smells, sounds, tastes-here's your ultimate chance to do some serious primal marketing. Wrap up the experience in a neat little bow and reap the benefits of making numerous primal connections with your community. Lucky for you, it happens to be just before one of the busier times of the year!
Inside and out...deck the halls. But do it right. Too much is gaudy...too little makes it look like an afterthought. If you have the budget...consult with an interior designer (or if you don't, talk to a friend or acquaintance whose house is always the best in the bunch). At the very least, pick up Southern Living, Better Homes and Gardens, Martha Stewart or any of their ilk when they have their special holiday issues. Page through until you see a style that harmonizes with your firm's architecture and interior design. When in doubt, ask a professional. Ambience sets the tone for the whole experience...do it right or not at all.
Here's one of the tricky parts-if you decide to pursue the remembrance service event, avoid asking your favorite preacher to host it. Instead, reach out to a new pastor or priest. It's a great opportunity to connect with them and introduce not only to the community, but to your firm and staff in a way that's more comfortable for them. After all, they've all done Christmas services before...at least they should have. The firm I worked with used both a Catholic priest and a Protestant minister for each holiday event, inviting new ones every year. This actually worked out quite well, and we made sure to give each one equal billing and time.
Music is very important. Low budgets might have the local school choir (acappella if they have one) or bigger budgets have a string quartet, or quality soloist.
The final touch would be your refreshments...these can be simple, easy and low-cost. Christmas cookies and punch, coffee, hot chocolate, hot cider. Easy stuff to buy at a warehouse club or local bakery. You can't go wrong by offering more, but don't feel like you need to.
The true guerrilla would make sure the attendees leave with a meaningful parting gift with some lasting memory value. An ornament for the tree, a wreath lapel pin, a Christmas tree seedling, etc. After all, they took the time on their weekend to come see you when they didn't have a need to. Reward them with some thoughtful planning and an inspiring event, and they'll reward you with their dollars later.
Thanks for the comments that keep coming! And for those curious among you, no one other than the reader I mentioned last week stepped forward in defense of Proper English. Bad grammar carries the day!
Here's to a profitable last quarter for us all!
Warm Autumn Wishes,
Dan Heaman, CFSP
The Guerrilla Director
http://www.guerrilladirector.com/
PS - No one was able to guess the quote from the last post - it was Kurt Cobain.
I'll make the same offer this time for this quote - a free one-on-one hour long coaching session to the first one to correctly name the author:
"The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple."
Peace,
D
"The music, the fireplaces crackling, the tree and decorations...it just feels like Christmas."
He also told me that the owners and staff were just like one big happy family. He failed to specify that he meant the Manson family. :) But I digress.
If you haven't jumped on the holiday program freight train yet, I highly recommend you do so now, while the pumpkins are still in the windows, so you have time to plan it appropriately.
I'll leave it to you whether you think it should be an open house type format, or a memorial remembrance service...you should do whatever you believe your community would like. Saturday or Sunday afternoons are times when these have been most successfully held.
Whatever you do...go heavy on the Norman Rockwell.
Music, food, decor-think Martha Stewart meets the Saturday Evening Post. Sights, smells, sounds, tastes-here's your ultimate chance to do some serious primal marketing. Wrap up the experience in a neat little bow and reap the benefits of making numerous primal connections with your community. Lucky for you, it happens to be just before one of the busier times of the year!
Inside and out...deck the halls. But do it right. Too much is gaudy...too little makes it look like an afterthought. If you have the budget...consult with an interior designer (or if you don't, talk to a friend or acquaintance whose house is always the best in the bunch). At the very least, pick up Southern Living, Better Homes and Gardens, Martha Stewart or any of their ilk when they have their special holiday issues. Page through until you see a style that harmonizes with your firm's architecture and interior design. When in doubt, ask a professional. Ambience sets the tone for the whole experience...do it right or not at all.
Here's one of the tricky parts-if you decide to pursue the remembrance service event, avoid asking your favorite preacher to host it. Instead, reach out to a new pastor or priest. It's a great opportunity to connect with them and introduce not only to the community, but to your firm and staff in a way that's more comfortable for them. After all, they've all done Christmas services before...at least they should have. The firm I worked with used both a Catholic priest and a Protestant minister for each holiday event, inviting new ones every year. This actually worked out quite well, and we made sure to give each one equal billing and time.
Music is very important. Low budgets might have the local school choir (acappella if they have one) or bigger budgets have a string quartet, or quality soloist.
The final touch would be your refreshments...these can be simple, easy and low-cost. Christmas cookies and punch, coffee, hot chocolate, hot cider. Easy stuff to buy at a warehouse club or local bakery. You can't go wrong by offering more, but don't feel like you need to.
The true guerrilla would make sure the attendees leave with a meaningful parting gift with some lasting memory value. An ornament for the tree, a wreath lapel pin, a Christmas tree seedling, etc. After all, they took the time on their weekend to come see you when they didn't have a need to. Reward them with some thoughtful planning and an inspiring event, and they'll reward you with their dollars later.
Thanks for the comments that keep coming! And for those curious among you, no one other than the reader I mentioned last week stepped forward in defense of Proper English. Bad grammar carries the day!
Here's to a profitable last quarter for us all!
Warm Autumn Wishes,
Dan Heaman, CFSP
The Guerrilla Director
http://www.guerrilladirector.com/
PS - No one was able to guess the quote from the last post - it was Kurt Cobain.
I'll make the same offer this time for this quote - a free one-on-one hour long coaching session to the first one to correctly name the author:
"The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple."
Peace,
D
Sunday, October 14, 2007
A Little Sugar Helps The Medicine Go Down!
Greetings Friends!
Sorry for the unusual absence...time is a precious commodity and that being said, let's call the meeting of the Order of The Sleepless Knights to order, please! (With apologies to Mr. Buffett!)
There's something to be said about rattling cages, and my article on FuneralWire provoked an interesting reponse from one of the readers.
This nice lady took me to task for the article I wrote about Holiday Marketing Plans...not about my theorys or observations, but my writing style. She found such things like my referring to our client families with the generic "Joe and Jane Jones" (a variation of the technique called Seussing, for all you copywriting folk out there) and my using vile words, like "crap."
Oh, crap.
As I typed a response to this reader (by the way, I'm ALWAYS read and respond to feedback from my readers, so if you want to weigh in, fire away!) I found myself befuddled and amused by her concerns, for this reason:
Due to years of our own selfishness and ineptitude, the crystal ball is murky at best. Don't we have more important things to address, like the future of our firms and our industry?
There are a number of us working to recharge and renew funeral service as we know it. My knowledge base is funeral service marketing/advertising, public relations, and customer service excellence. I write how I talk, which is one of the first rules they teach you in any successful writing course. Dutifully sit through your English classes, and if you choose to write as a vocation, bid Mr. Warriner goodbye and write how you speak.
So here's what my thoughts are:
Normal marketing article *snore*
Classroom style lecture *ditto*
Adhering to the Queen's English *major snore*
Best,
Dan Heaman, CFSP
The Guerrilla Director
http://www.guerrilladirector.com/
PS - Do I dare risk ruffling a few more feathers?...I'll give a free coaching session to the first person who emails me with the name of the person who said this:
"I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not."
Have a great week!
D
Sorry for the unusual absence...time is a precious commodity and that being said, let's call the meeting of the Order of The Sleepless Knights to order, please! (With apologies to Mr. Buffett!)
There's something to be said about rattling cages, and my article on FuneralWire provoked an interesting reponse from one of the readers.
This nice lady took me to task for the article I wrote about Holiday Marketing Plans...not about my theorys or observations, but my writing style. She found such things like my referring to our client families with the generic "Joe and Jane Jones" (a variation of the technique called Seussing, for all you copywriting folk out there) and my using vile words, like "crap."
Oh, crap.
As I typed a response to this reader (by the way, I'm ALWAYS read and respond to feedback from my readers, so if you want to weigh in, fire away!) I found myself befuddled and amused by her concerns, for this reason:
Due to years of our own selfishness and ineptitude, the crystal ball is murky at best. Don't we have more important things to address, like the future of our firms and our industry?
There are a number of us working to recharge and renew funeral service as we know it. My knowledge base is funeral service marketing/advertising, public relations, and customer service excellence. I write how I talk, which is one of the first rules they teach you in any successful writing course. Dutifully sit through your English classes, and if you choose to write as a vocation, bid Mr. Warriner goodbye and write how you speak.
So here's what my thoughts are:
Normal marketing article *snore*
Classroom style lecture *ditto*
Adhering to the Queen's English *major snore*
Can you imagine if Stephen King wrote his tomes in the style of a textbook?
My goal is for YOU to feel as if we were sitting down together on a Friday at a tavern in our neighborhood...sipping a frosty one and talking about our week. This week's blog entry is all about you...how do you want me to present these morsels to you? Harvard Grammarian or Guerrilla Director? I want to do it the way YOU want me to!
Thanks for your time, and I look forward to your comments!Best,
Dan Heaman, CFSP
The Guerrilla Director
http://www.guerrilladirector.com/
PS - Do I dare risk ruffling a few more feathers?...I'll give a free coaching session to the first person who emails me with the name of the person who said this:
"I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not."
Have a great week!
D
Sunday, September 30, 2007
The Guerrilla Leader
"One who commands an army but does not know the techniques...will not be able to control men." - Sun Tzu THE ART OF WAR
"We have met the enemy and it is us."-From some comic strip whose name I can't recall.
Whether you are a location manager for one of the corporate chains or the owner of a small family firm you can and should heed the advice of our dear friend Mr. Tzu up there.
You see, we can be our own worst enemy.
Many managers or owners fail to live up to or acknowledge one shampoo simple strategy for major business success.
Treat your employees BETTER than your clients.
I see the dumbfounded looks of disbelief already!
Client families come and go, but your employees are there forever...at least you hope the good ones are, anyway.
"But Dan," you protest, "clients pay our bills."
"No" say I. "Your employees that serve them, make them happy and wow them so that they tell all of their friends. THEY pay your bills."
Without good employees, chances are, you're nothing.
I've seen the absolute destruction of one of the most talented staffs a funeral home could possibly want (by the owner's own words!) by incompetence and indifference to their employees.
Case in point - the firm in question used to have two employee appreciation parties a year. One in the summer and one around Christmastime. As of this writing, they've had none since 2003.
This is something the staff is keenly aware of, and has been brought to management's attention, and yet absolutely nothing has been done. No company appreciation for 4 years, despite record-breaking business growth.
Does that seem like wise or competent management to you?
I'll add something else...this same group thinks nothing of letting a few years go by without raises and then making small token raise amounts when they do get around to it.
How do you think those employees feel? Loved? Appreciated? Or taken advantage of?
As I watch this destruction as an observer from the sidelines, I cannot help but think of something that one of the employees told me. One of those rare quiet days, the funeral directors were sitting around enjoying the respite and shooting the breeze when the owner sashayed in the door. With exaggerated finger-pointing he called out gaily "overhead, overhead, overhead" as he motioned to each director.
I was told that the response to this "joke" was stunned silence from the staff. He might as well have slapped each of them in the face. For only a day or two before, when the staff was backed up against the wall handling more services and arrangements than they should have been able to, he didn't walk in and say "thank you, thank you, thank you" or "profit, profit, profit!"
He is his own worst enemy. Don't be yours.
Thanks for staying tuned...I've got lots of ideas for low cost and easy ways to reward your staff and help keep them motivated. Just send me an email with "employee rewards" in the subject line and I'll send you a copy!
Best,
Dan Heaman, CFSP
The Guerrilla Director
www.guerrilladirector.com
"We have met the enemy and it is us."-From some comic strip whose name I can't recall.
Whether you are a location manager for one of the corporate chains or the owner of a small family firm you can and should heed the advice of our dear friend Mr. Tzu up there.
You see, we can be our own worst enemy.
Many managers or owners fail to live up to or acknowledge one shampoo simple strategy for major business success.
Treat your employees BETTER than your clients.
I see the dumbfounded looks of disbelief already!
Client families come and go, but your employees are there forever...at least you hope the good ones are, anyway.
"But Dan," you protest, "clients pay our bills."
"No" say I. "Your employees that serve them, make them happy and wow them so that they tell all of their friends. THEY pay your bills."
Without good employees, chances are, you're nothing.
I've seen the absolute destruction of one of the most talented staffs a funeral home could possibly want (by the owner's own words!) by incompetence and indifference to their employees.
Case in point - the firm in question used to have two employee appreciation parties a year. One in the summer and one around Christmastime. As of this writing, they've had none since 2003.
This is something the staff is keenly aware of, and has been brought to management's attention, and yet absolutely nothing has been done. No company appreciation for 4 years, despite record-breaking business growth.
Does that seem like wise or competent management to you?
I'll add something else...this same group thinks nothing of letting a few years go by without raises and then making small token raise amounts when they do get around to it.
How do you think those employees feel? Loved? Appreciated? Or taken advantage of?
As I watch this destruction as an observer from the sidelines, I cannot help but think of something that one of the employees told me. One of those rare quiet days, the funeral directors were sitting around enjoying the respite and shooting the breeze when the owner sashayed in the door. With exaggerated finger-pointing he called out gaily "overhead, overhead, overhead" as he motioned to each director.
I was told that the response to this "joke" was stunned silence from the staff. He might as well have slapped each of them in the face. For only a day or two before, when the staff was backed up against the wall handling more services and arrangements than they should have been able to, he didn't walk in and say "thank you, thank you, thank you" or "profit, profit, profit!"
He is his own worst enemy. Don't be yours.
Thanks for staying tuned...I've got lots of ideas for low cost and easy ways to reward your staff and help keep them motivated. Just send me an email with "employee rewards" in the subject line and I'll send you a copy!
Best,
Dan Heaman, CFSP
The Guerrilla Director
www.guerrilladirector.com
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Bling bling has no place in funeral business!
Here's one of my least favorite attributes of some of our esteemed colleagues... Bling, bling. Overdressing. No matter how successful you are (or want to appear to be) you should give serious consideration to the amount/style/visibility of the jewelry you choose to wear. The same goes for designer clothes and luxury cars. It's very hard to argue that funeral costs are not out of whack when the funeral home owner drives a Rolls-Royce, wears giant flashy rings/necklaces/earrings and brags about what was paid for his/her suit, etc.
Plain and simple-it's UNPROFESSIONAL.
Before too many of you get fired up, let me state that I have no argument with anyone enjoying the fruits of their successful business. You work hard, and you deserve it. However, the families you serve should not have their noses rubbed in the obvious fact that you are wealthy and they may not be.
Lest any of you think I'm exaggerating-come on, we all know of one (and probably more) funeral associate or colleague that fits this mold.
If you think that this sort of thing is acceptable, just try and place yourself in the families position. Your mom has just died, you're worried about whether or not the small life insurance policy is going to cover her funeral costs, and all of the sudden a swaggering character dripping in jewelry and wearing clothes that cost more than your last mortgage payment is trying to feed you a line about "just being here to help you."
And you're thinking, "Bull crap. This guy's going to try and take me to the cleaners."
An immediate sense of distrust is forming in your mind, and will color your opinion of the firm
that will simply be reinforced each time you see this person over the next few days. Even if the funeral director is the most honest and trustworthy person, their lack of judgement on professional attire torpedoes that image every time.
So the next time you're dressing for work, think about what message you want to send to your clients. Are you here to help them? Or is your manner of dress telling them that you really here to help yourself to their money?
Thanks for stopping by. You stay classy, funeral service!
Best,
Dan Heaman, CFSP
The Guerrilla Director
www.guerrilladirector.com
Plain and simple-it's UNPROFESSIONAL.
Before too many of you get fired up, let me state that I have no argument with anyone enjoying the fruits of their successful business. You work hard, and you deserve it. However, the families you serve should not have their noses rubbed in the obvious fact that you are wealthy and they may not be.
Lest any of you think I'm exaggerating-come on, we all know of one (and probably more) funeral associate or colleague that fits this mold.
If you think that this sort of thing is acceptable, just try and place yourself in the families position. Your mom has just died, you're worried about whether or not the small life insurance policy is going to cover her funeral costs, and all of the sudden a swaggering character dripping in jewelry and wearing clothes that cost more than your last mortgage payment is trying to feed you a line about "just being here to help you."
And you're thinking, "Bull crap. This guy's going to try and take me to the cleaners."
An immediate sense of distrust is forming in your mind, and will color your opinion of the firm
that will simply be reinforced each time you see this person over the next few days. Even if the funeral director is the most honest and trustworthy person, their lack of judgement on professional attire torpedoes that image every time.
So the next time you're dressing for work, think about what message you want to send to your clients. Are you here to help them? Or is your manner of dress telling them that you really here to help yourself to their money?
Thanks for stopping by. You stay classy, funeral service!
Best,
Dan Heaman, CFSP
The Guerrilla Director
www.guerrilladirector.com
Saturday, September 8, 2007
How I turned $500 into $75,000+ (and you can, too!)
One of the delightful marketing reps I've dealt with (for more than ten years now) once had gotten on my nerves so bad...I just didn't know how to tell her to take a hike.
You see, she was trying to rope me into signing up for a booth at "Bavarianfest," which was a local event sponsored by the Business Association (of which I was a member). The event would feature German food (and beer!), rides, polka bands, games and lots of booths from local businesses trying to huckster a few bucks from the locals.
Not exactly the funeral marketing sweet spot...or so I thought.
So I pondered this rotten dilemma, and came up with a half-hearted PR plan that I really didn't put much stock in. I would rent a booth ($50) and man it myself (in khakis and a polo shirt with the company logo on it-I always believe funeral folks are much more approachable in garments outside the realm of the suit). I would hand out left over giveaways items from previous events (pens, matches, scratch pads, calendars, etc.) and chocolate chip cookies (about $70 worth from the local bakery). I also requested the purchase of a 20" color TV ($200) to raffle off. To justify this expense to my superior, I showed him a raffle ticket I had designed for each entrant to complete, with one single but very important line at the bottom..."Are you interested in funeral prearranging? YES/NO." Those that circled YES would be contacted by our preneed counselor du jour and those that circled NO wouldn't be contacted. With a skeptical gleam in his eye, he agreed.
That evening, as I stood there sweating and mentally composing my resignation letter (which would surely be warranted after this dismal flop), I sipped a cold one and waited for the crowds to fly past me and crowd like vultures amongst the Avon and Shaklee Vitamin offerings to my left.
I never got to finish that resignation letter.
When people saw that I had nothing to sell, only freebies to snag and cookies to snarf, they came, they saw, they stayed. I got to hear all about how we buried Aunt Mabel back in '58 and everything was SOOOO beautiful. I got to hear about the late owner's generosity and college hijinks (I'm sure they had him confused with someone else...) and most were more than happy to enter in the drawing for the TV. At the end of the evening, I got up on stage to announce the winner of the drawing and was carrying the TV to the lady's car when she curtly informed me that she had her arrangements already made (at our competitor)...
ME-(forced phony smile)-"All that matters is that you've had the foresight to help you family like that."
I tried not to drop the TV too hard into her trunk.
The end result of that night was about 20 people indicating that they were interested in prearranging, and the preneed books swelled by more than $75000 from those interested folks.
An investment of less than $500, with advertising included and valuable PR opportunities to connect with people and a tidy sum in the old preneed bank. Hmmm, I think we could all use some "dismal flops" like that, eh?
I'd like to here of some brave things you all have tried...long shots that may or may not have worked. You never know when a little tweak might send that idea right to the bank!
Thank goodness fall is coming soon!
Best,
Dan Heaman, CFSP
The Guerrilla Director
www.guerrilladirector.com
You see, she was trying to rope me into signing up for a booth at "Bavarianfest," which was a local event sponsored by the Business Association (of which I was a member). The event would feature German food (and beer!), rides, polka bands, games and lots of booths from local businesses trying to huckster a few bucks from the locals.
Not exactly the funeral marketing sweet spot...or so I thought.
So I pondered this rotten dilemma, and came up with a half-hearted PR plan that I really didn't put much stock in. I would rent a booth ($50) and man it myself (in khakis and a polo shirt with the company logo on it-I always believe funeral folks are much more approachable in garments outside the realm of the suit). I would hand out left over giveaways items from previous events (pens, matches, scratch pads, calendars, etc.) and chocolate chip cookies (about $70 worth from the local bakery). I also requested the purchase of a 20" color TV ($200) to raffle off. To justify this expense to my superior, I showed him a raffle ticket I had designed for each entrant to complete, with one single but very important line at the bottom..."Are you interested in funeral prearranging? YES/NO." Those that circled YES would be contacted by our preneed counselor du jour and those that circled NO wouldn't be contacted. With a skeptical gleam in his eye, he agreed.
That evening, as I stood there sweating and mentally composing my resignation letter (which would surely be warranted after this dismal flop), I sipped a cold one and waited for the crowds to fly past me and crowd like vultures amongst the Avon and Shaklee Vitamin offerings to my left.
I never got to finish that resignation letter.
When people saw that I had nothing to sell, only freebies to snag and cookies to snarf, they came, they saw, they stayed. I got to hear all about how we buried Aunt Mabel back in '58 and everything was SOOOO beautiful. I got to hear about the late owner's generosity and college hijinks (I'm sure they had him confused with someone else...) and most were more than happy to enter in the drawing for the TV. At the end of the evening, I got up on stage to announce the winner of the drawing and was carrying the TV to the lady's car when she curtly informed me that she had her arrangements already made (at our competitor)...
ME-(forced phony smile)-"All that matters is that you've had the foresight to help you family like that."
I tried not to drop the TV too hard into her trunk.
The end result of that night was about 20 people indicating that they were interested in prearranging, and the preneed books swelled by more than $75000 from those interested folks.
An investment of less than $500, with advertising included and valuable PR opportunities to connect with people and a tidy sum in the old preneed bank. Hmmm, I think we could all use some "dismal flops" like that, eh?
I'd like to here of some brave things you all have tried...long shots that may or may not have worked. You never know when a little tweak might send that idea right to the bank!
Thank goodness fall is coming soon!
Best,
Dan Heaman, CFSP
The Guerrilla Director
www.guerrilladirector.com
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Enhancing Your Firm's Primal Appeal
Greetings! Here's hoping that you all are having a great week!
Here's some quick thoughts on your funeral firm's "primal" appeal...
Joe & Jane Consumer are literally pounded by hundreds or thousands of ad messages every single day...your commercial on the radio, TV or newspaper ad will likely fall into their mental recycle bin unless you happen to have something truly mentally sticky or unusual in your ad visuals or copy.
We're all jaded...in fact, even I, as somewhat of a marketing geek, love to hear some cloying advertising syrup on the radio and scream "CRAP!!!" at its conclusion. I can do this with just about any product, even those charity commercials that are designed to tug the heart strings all the way down to your wallet. Nowadays, there are a lot more defenses that marketing messages must traverse in order to hit home.
BUT...shhh...don't tell anyone....there IS a secret backdoor you can use that slices through those defenses - like a cruise missile launched at a bunch of hooting cavemen...
The secret is to trigger strong primal (almost animal) instincts in the consumer. It hits dead on in some subconscious subatomic particle area in the brain which has no defense.
There, my friend, is where you want to be.
Consider the Cracker Barrel restaurant chain. They have this technique NAILED. Here's how it goes:
You walk in on a cold winter day. After your seated, you notice a real wood burning fireplace and BAM...instant positive association. Fire signifies warmth, food, safety and light. This instant visual primally connects you to the source of the fire, (ie the restaurant). The smell of the wood burning and the tangible warmth reinforces the visual stimuli to confirm what the primal monkey is craving..."HERE ME FIND FOOD, FIRE WARMS ME" etc. etc. You get the idea.
Intermingling with the trigger scent of woodsmoke is the savory fragrance of food. Hearty food dishes that fill you up and are specially created (I assume) to be comfort-food based and BAM...another primal instinct trigger! Comforting foods usually bring forth memories of childhood, long lost relatives and past holidays...two positive primal associations made with one meal. The satisfaction of a large hearty dinner and memories of Christmas at Grandma's house + a roaring fire and you've got some serious primal connections with this place.
"Hey Dan," you say, "what's this got to do with me?"
You can use these same type of tactics not only on your client families, but on the visitors to their visitation/funeral/memorial services.
Using fireplaces (real wood are the most effective) at the right times, pleasantly scented air (food based scents are strongly attractive to the primal human), temperature modification
or a water feature inside (the sound of falling water and the action of waterfalls creates positive ions in the air-both will act as primal triggers) can create the sort of primal connection with a consumer that can sway in your direction the next time they have a need...and these primal connections often surpass other obstacles, such as physical distance.
Utilizing primal attraction factors in your firm could be just the boost you need to cut through the clutter and help more people find their way to you.
Keep cool to those of you (like me) that are "enjoying" this August weather!
Best,
Dan Heaman, CFSP
The Guerrilla Director
www.guerrilladirector.com
Here's some quick thoughts on your funeral firm's "primal" appeal...
Joe & Jane Consumer are literally pounded by hundreds or thousands of ad messages every single day...your commercial on the radio, TV or newspaper ad will likely fall into their mental recycle bin unless you happen to have something truly mentally sticky or unusual in your ad visuals or copy.
We're all jaded...in fact, even I, as somewhat of a marketing geek, love to hear some cloying advertising syrup on the radio and scream "CRAP!!!" at its conclusion. I can do this with just about any product, even those charity commercials that are designed to tug the heart strings all the way down to your wallet. Nowadays, there are a lot more defenses that marketing messages must traverse in order to hit home.
BUT...shhh...don't tell anyone....there IS a secret backdoor you can use that slices through those defenses - like a cruise missile launched at a bunch of hooting cavemen...
The secret is to trigger strong primal (almost animal) instincts in the consumer. It hits dead on in some subconscious subatomic particle area in the brain which has no defense.
There, my friend, is where you want to be.
Consider the Cracker Barrel restaurant chain. They have this technique NAILED. Here's how it goes:
You walk in on a cold winter day. After your seated, you notice a real wood burning fireplace and BAM...instant positive association. Fire signifies warmth, food, safety and light. This instant visual primally connects you to the source of the fire, (ie the restaurant). The smell of the wood burning and the tangible warmth reinforces the visual stimuli to confirm what the primal monkey is craving..."HERE ME FIND FOOD, FIRE WARMS ME" etc. etc. You get the idea.
Intermingling with the trigger scent of woodsmoke is the savory fragrance of food. Hearty food dishes that fill you up and are specially created (I assume) to be comfort-food based and BAM...another primal instinct trigger! Comforting foods usually bring forth memories of childhood, long lost relatives and past holidays...two positive primal associations made with one meal. The satisfaction of a large hearty dinner and memories of Christmas at Grandma's house + a roaring fire and you've got some serious primal connections with this place.
"Hey Dan," you say, "what's this got to do with me?"
You can use these same type of tactics not only on your client families, but on the visitors to their visitation/funeral/memorial services.
Using fireplaces (real wood are the most effective) at the right times, pleasantly scented air (food based scents are strongly attractive to the primal human), temperature modification
or a water feature inside (the sound of falling water and the action of waterfalls creates positive ions in the air-both will act as primal triggers) can create the sort of primal connection with a consumer that can sway in your direction the next time they have a need...and these primal connections often surpass other obstacles, such as physical distance.
Utilizing primal attraction factors in your firm could be just the boost you need to cut through the clutter and help more people find their way to you.
Keep cool to those of you (like me) that are "enjoying" this August weather!
Best,
Dan Heaman, CFSP
The Guerrilla Director
www.guerrilladirector.com
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Picking Up A Competitor's Fumble
If you ever want to make the easiest money of your life AND build a customer relationship that will stand the test of time, dedicate every bit of energy you have into recovering your competitor's fumble.
Let's say a family comes to you after a miserable experience with one of your competitors...do you treat them just like every other family? You should only answer yes to this if you give your all to every family, every time. If you already do that, you should have no time or inclination to be reading up on business improvement because you'll already have more business than you can handle. But let's say that you answer no...what next?
First, find out everything possible about their prior experience with the competitor. What happened, and why? Sometimes problems originate with a family, and knowing that in advance will help you adjust your strategy accordingly. You can head those problems off in advance. If the problem was a result of your competitor's incompetence, lack of caring/listening/attention, you can plan your service to specifically address those issues as well.
Here's a bit of gold with this...if you know of a problem with one of your families-what have you done to address it in the best possible fashion? Are you making sure a competitor doesn't recover YOUR fumble? Case in point-I recently conducted a funeral service for a family that had a problem the last time they used our firm, and they weren't shy about refreshing our memory! The incident involved a burial vault not showing up, and the family left the cemetery with the uneasy feeling of an incomplete funeral. Now, I had investigated the incident and was told that the funeral director had waited until vault showed up and supervised the interment personally...but that didn't help an upset family feel any better. This time, I attended to *ALL* of the details not once, not twice but three times over (especially the vault!).
In the end, I made sure that their experience this time was smooth and error-free. The result was a delighted family who wrote a glowing letter of praise to express their gratitude and renewed their faith in our firm.
Recovering a competitior's fumble is a serious touchpoint opportunity to market your firm, build a relationship with a new family AND IT COSTS YOU NOTHING! Don't let these literally golden opportunities pass you by...and DON'T let a competitor recover yours, either! For more information about recovering your families goodwill after a fumble, check out my coaching courses available for a limited time...*4 Sessions only $199!* Space is limited, so don't wait!
Best,
Dan Heaman
The Guerrilla Director
www.guerrilladirector.com
Let's say a family comes to you after a miserable experience with one of your competitors...do you treat them just like every other family? You should only answer yes to this if you give your all to every family, every time. If you already do that, you should have no time or inclination to be reading up on business improvement because you'll already have more business than you can handle. But let's say that you answer no...what next?
First, find out everything possible about their prior experience with the competitor. What happened, and why? Sometimes problems originate with a family, and knowing that in advance will help you adjust your strategy accordingly. You can head those problems off in advance. If the problem was a result of your competitor's incompetence, lack of caring/listening/attention, you can plan your service to specifically address those issues as well.
Here's a bit of gold with this...if you know of a problem with one of your families-what have you done to address it in the best possible fashion? Are you making sure a competitor doesn't recover YOUR fumble? Case in point-I recently conducted a funeral service for a family that had a problem the last time they used our firm, and they weren't shy about refreshing our memory! The incident involved a burial vault not showing up, and the family left the cemetery with the uneasy feeling of an incomplete funeral. Now, I had investigated the incident and was told that the funeral director had waited until vault showed up and supervised the interment personally...but that didn't help an upset family feel any better. This time, I attended to *ALL* of the details not once, not twice but three times over (especially the vault!).
In the end, I made sure that their experience this time was smooth and error-free. The result was a delighted family who wrote a glowing letter of praise to express their gratitude and renewed their faith in our firm.
Recovering a competitior's fumble is a serious touchpoint opportunity to market your firm, build a relationship with a new family AND IT COSTS YOU NOTHING! Don't let these literally golden opportunities pass you by...and DON'T let a competitor recover yours, either! For more information about recovering your families goodwill after a fumble, check out my coaching courses available for a limited time...*4 Sessions only $199!* Space is limited, so don't wait!
Best,
Dan Heaman
The Guerrilla Director
www.guerrilladirector.com
Friday, August 10, 2007
The Magic of $100
I knew an old fellow who used to carry a neatly folded $100 bill tucked away in his wallet.
"$100 will get you through just about anything," he'd say. He meant that you could fix minor trouble with your car, buy a new tire, put up in a hotel or buy yourself a meal with that money when you found yourself waylaid on your travels in life.
As I progress along in this crazy business known as funerals, I found that $100 can work a lot of magic for your funeral home as well.
I'm going to turn this into a much larger article, because there's too much that you can do with $100 to help your business to write it all here. But here's a taste:
*Last month the local Knights of Columbus was holding a fundraiser barbecue. I had ordered lunch for the weekend staff and went over to pick it up.
"That'll be $85," said the friendly gent manning the cash box. I was going to write the check out for $100 even, giving them a nice $15 bonus...which they would have appreciated. But I had a flash of inspiration, and I wrote the check out for $185...giving them a $100 bonus.
The friendly gent's jaw dropped and he stammered an apology. He thought he had told me the wrong amount. I quickly assured him that the overage was intentional and that I hoped it help them have a successful fundraiser. In his disbelief, he began telling everyone around him about the extra $100 the funeral home had given them.
Instead of $15, which would have been appreciated, but forgotten soon, I gave them $100 which they appreciated...and probably talked about for the rest of the afternoon and probably still remember.
Spend your marketing money wisely...a $100 ad in the fundraiser's newsletter doesn't mean as much as the same $100 given face to face in a completely unexpected manner.
PS- the bonus for anyone who does this - a happier staff that believes you care about them when you bring them back lunch.
The next time you see a fundraiser barbecue/car wash/bake sale/etc. remember the magic effect that $100 could have. Your generosity (and business acumen) will be rewarded handsomely.
Have a great week!
Dan
"$100 will get you through just about anything," he'd say. He meant that you could fix minor trouble with your car, buy a new tire, put up in a hotel or buy yourself a meal with that money when you found yourself waylaid on your travels in life.
As I progress along in this crazy business known as funerals, I found that $100 can work a lot of magic for your funeral home as well.
I'm going to turn this into a much larger article, because there's too much that you can do with $100 to help your business to write it all here. But here's a taste:
*Last month the local Knights of Columbus was holding a fundraiser barbecue. I had ordered lunch for the weekend staff and went over to pick it up.
"That'll be $85," said the friendly gent manning the cash box. I was going to write the check out for $100 even, giving them a nice $15 bonus...which they would have appreciated. But I had a flash of inspiration, and I wrote the check out for $185...giving them a $100 bonus.
The friendly gent's jaw dropped and he stammered an apology. He thought he had told me the wrong amount. I quickly assured him that the overage was intentional and that I hoped it help them have a successful fundraiser. In his disbelief, he began telling everyone around him about the extra $100 the funeral home had given them.
Instead of $15, which would have been appreciated, but forgotten soon, I gave them $100 which they appreciated...and probably talked about for the rest of the afternoon and probably still remember.
Spend your marketing money wisely...a $100 ad in the fundraiser's newsletter doesn't mean as much as the same $100 given face to face in a completely unexpected manner.
PS- the bonus for anyone who does this - a happier staff that believes you care about them when you bring them back lunch.
The next time you see a fundraiser barbecue/car wash/bake sale/etc. remember the magic effect that $100 could have. Your generosity (and business acumen) will be rewarded handsomely.
Have a great week!
Dan
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Next Generation Funeral Service Marketing
There's a lot of marketing companies out there that are more than happy to take a funeral director's hard earned money in exchange for "AMAZING, FANTASTIC AND MAGICAL OR INSTANT RESULTS..."
blah, blah and blah.
The truth is that it's damned hard to market a funeral home properly. And it's easier to waste the few marketing dollars you do have to stroke someone's ego on some obnoxiously large ad in the Yellow Pages...Here's a tip that will save you thousands of dollars next year. Are you ready?
Lean in close. I'll whisper it to you...
(by the time someone has the phone book in their hands, they probably already know which funeral home they are going to call...and a big pretty ad by some other firm in another part of town isn't going to sway them in your direction. the people who are using the phone book are very likely price shopping and will want you to bend over backwards for them and pay you very little in return.)
Here's another tip:
*LET THEM GO BE A PAIN IN SOMEONE ELSE"S BUTT!!*
There. I just saved you thousands of dollars AND immeasurable stress with those two morsels.
You're welcome.
For more money-saving, profit boosting and stress reducing funeral management tactics, schlep on over to www.guerrilladirector.com or shoot me an email at dan@guerrilladirector.com and I'll send you a free report on how I made over $75000 in preneed sales without a spending a penny on ads or cold-calling. This is a super easy technique you can use too. You'll have more money in the bank by the end of the year. Guaranteed.
blah, blah and blah.
The truth is that it's damned hard to market a funeral home properly. And it's easier to waste the few marketing dollars you do have to stroke someone's ego on some obnoxiously large ad in the Yellow Pages...Here's a tip that will save you thousands of dollars next year. Are you ready?
Lean in close. I'll whisper it to you...
(by the time someone has the phone book in their hands, they probably already know which funeral home they are going to call...and a big pretty ad by some other firm in another part of town isn't going to sway them in your direction. the people who are using the phone book are very likely price shopping and will want you to bend over backwards for them and pay you very little in return.)
Here's another tip:
*LET THEM GO BE A PAIN IN SOMEONE ELSE"S BUTT!!*
There. I just saved you thousands of dollars AND immeasurable stress with those two morsels.
You're welcome.
For more money-saving, profit boosting and stress reducing funeral management tactics, schlep on over to www.guerrilladirector.com or shoot me an email at dan@guerrilladirector.com and I'll send you a free report on how I made over $75000 in preneed sales without a spending a penny on ads or cold-calling. This is a super easy technique you can use too. You'll have more money in the bank by the end of the year. Guaranteed.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Amazingly Bad Customer Service!
One of life's true astonishments is the fact of how many businesses continue to operate (and in some cases, grow bigger) when what they seem to offer is anything from bad to mediocre customer service.
Case in point, I recently handled a small town funeral far from home and stayed a large national hotel chains "express" location. I specifically picked it because it appeared to be the nicest in the little town I was staying in. (The other hotels/motels in this town were not the least bit inviting, based on the exterior appearance only). I didn't have a reservation, and only smoking rooms were available. As a former smoker, I don't mind a bit a smoke, but my room smelled as if Motley Crue, all of their roadies and a good portion of their audience spent a couple of days chain-smoking in it! Now this room had a perfectly operating window with a screen that could have been opened by housekeeping at any time for airing...I however could not open the window due a violent thunderstorm that was occurring.
So I find myself in same said thunderstorm driving to a local supermarket for air freshener and bathroom cleaner (the bathroom might have been cleaned at one time...a long time ago) to clean and freshen this room. Even the bath towels reeked of smoke. To do the next occupant a favor, I used every towel in the place because I'm fairly sure that the ones left for me had been in the room absorbing the smell for quite some time. At least the next guest will have fresher linens.
Am I nitpicking?
For what amounted to about $100 a night (after taxes, fees etc) can we no longer expect a clean, fresh smelling room, even if it's a smoking room?
I left a detailed survey card with this location and also on their website. I'll be interested to see what their response is. What do you think?
Case in point, I recently handled a small town funeral far from home and stayed a large national hotel chains "express" location. I specifically picked it because it appeared to be the nicest in the little town I was staying in. (The other hotels/motels in this town were not the least bit inviting, based on the exterior appearance only). I didn't have a reservation, and only smoking rooms were available. As a former smoker, I don't mind a bit a smoke, but my room smelled as if Motley Crue, all of their roadies and a good portion of their audience spent a couple of days chain-smoking in it! Now this room had a perfectly operating window with a screen that could have been opened by housekeeping at any time for airing...I however could not open the window due a violent thunderstorm that was occurring.
So I find myself in same said thunderstorm driving to a local supermarket for air freshener and bathroom cleaner (the bathroom might have been cleaned at one time...a long time ago) to clean and freshen this room. Even the bath towels reeked of smoke. To do the next occupant a favor, I used every towel in the place because I'm fairly sure that the ones left for me had been in the room absorbing the smell for quite some time. At least the next guest will have fresher linens.
Am I nitpicking?
For what amounted to about $100 a night (after taxes, fees etc) can we no longer expect a clean, fresh smelling room, even if it's a smoking room?
I left a detailed survey card with this location and also on their website. I'll be interested to see what their response is. What do you think?
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