PASSION=PROFITS!

Have you recovered from the caloric orgy of the holiday yet? (Not me, not even close!)

If you can (and what the hell...I did!) pull yourself from the Stovetop Stuffing stupor and ease your mind back into business and your plans for the coming year...
A couple of weeks ago, I made a bold invitation...to which I've had bold replies of interest. I've put together a PDF brochure to send out to those of you who are interested in learning more about putting the milk back in your cashcow in 2008!

And you know who you are!!

I'm very excited to share this with all of you. I'm excited to know that there is still passion amongst you for what you do. Those with passion will not only survive, but thrive and prosper!

If you're ready, I'll teach you:

*Powerful Marketing Strategies

*How To Make Your Advertising Hypnotic and Unforgettable!

*Techniques on Turning Your Customers into Raving Ambassadors Who Will Market Your Business In the Most Powerful and Effective Way!

*Methods of getting FREE PR, Publicity and Media Coverage

* and a lot more!

Prepare to be blown away!

Imagine what it will feel like as your business volume explodes!

Spots are limited, and blog readers qualify for a 50% discount...because you are a savvy and motivated bunch!

Here's to us in '08!

Warm regards,

Dan Heaman, CFSP
The Guerrilla Director

PS - Send me an email if you want me to send you the brochure!

Did You Know That Thanksgiving Brings You Wealth?

Here we are...Thanksgiving '07 already. How the time does fly! If you don't mind, I'm going to wax philosophic for this post...in a constructive and interesting way, I hope!

Thanksgiving. Thanks. Giving.

Let's focus on the first half of the term. Thanks. Gratitude. Appreciation.

No matter what your situation, you should be able to examine your life and find some aspects (if not most aspects) of your life to be grateful for. Love. Friendship. Career objectives being pursued and met. The smile of your son or daughter. The cold, wet nose of your four-legged pal. Hope for the future. All good things. By all means, the best of things.

Gratitude is a funny thing. The more you appreciate what you have, the richer you feel. The more thankful you are, the more good things that come your way. The Powers that be like to know that you respect, understand and care for everything they bestow upon you. By showing your gratification, it tells them that it's OK to send some more your way.

"Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others."
-Cicero

I know that there are times when I've felt overwhelmed by good fortune. I was truly and honestly grateful for everything coming my way...and then-

I grew complacent. Took everything for granted. Felt like I was owed something.

And then I knew scarcity, and the fear that comes with it.

Now the second part of the term - giving.

Any of us brought up in a Christian faith remember being told things like "The Lord loves a cheerful giver" and "Tithe faithfully, you'll be rewarded tenfold." Etc. etc.

The older I get, the truer those statements become. Not in the strictly literal translation of giving money to some particular religious institution, but tithing in the Karmic sense. Paying it forward. Random acts of kindness. The times I've enjoyed the most prosperity are the times I've been the most generous to the world around me.

Dropping coins into the red kettle at Christmas. Giving a sawbuck to the couple with the cardboard sign on the freeway off-ramp. Volunteering for something that is meaningful to YOU. Heartfelt generosity in all of its forms brings so much good back to you that it's almost immeasurable.

The key to this is your intention. I know I've probably been rooked into giving money to someone who didn't really need. They were just lazy or dishonest and I was an easy mark.

But here's the thing-I still did a good deed. The bad vibes come back on them, not me. And I'd rather give money to ten people who didn't really need than risk ignoring the one person who depended on my five dollars to eat that night, or to have a warm place to sleep.

SO for those few who are still left reading, who haven't given up on this yet, I'll answer the question "What the hell does this have to do with my making more money?!?"

Gentle reader, in order to restore your success or bolster and improve your success, you must realign yourself with the positive forces of life. Gratitude and generosity in honest everyday practice will bring what you desire in multitudes, my friend. Give, and ye shall receive.

As this holiday season begins...and this year of 2007 winds down, adjust you mindset back to the balance of give and take. Your bankbook will thank you for it.

Thanks. Giving. Thanks for giving me a chance to stand on the old soapbox. I'm grateful for all of you out there. I wish nothing but blessings and prosperity to you and yours for the Holiday Season and the coming year.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Warmly,

Dan Heaman, CFSP
The Guerrilla Director

PS - I'm especially grateful to all of you who have contacted me and asked me to work with you for your business. Cheers to you, together 2008 should be our best year yet!

A Post...with Roy Williams Deserving All of the Credit!

I get a wonderful publication from a unique institution of learning (of which I am proud to call myself a graduate.)

It's called the Wizard Academy. All geek jokes aside, it has been one of the more positive forces in my career in advertising and marketing.

Like any master (in the truest sense of the word) Roy Williams inspires with his words. Genuine Masters instruct and inspire.

This memo blew me away. I hope it stirs your soul as well. Click on the title of this blog post and buckle yourself in for what it might unleash!

Boldly yours,

Dan

PS - My favorite line from it?
The tiger who fails is still a tiger. We do not laugh at it. A tiger is spectacular.

Go get 'em, Tiger!

D

www.guerrilladirector.com

For They Conquer Who Believe They Can!

Thank you, John Dryden.

There's a little funeral home not too far away from my home. I almost bought it a few years ago. It was a former powerhouse presence in the neighborhood, with a long rich history and facility like no other. And then, distant ownership (in various forms) took over and ran it into the ground.

A smoldering 35 call a year wreck of a once-great name...we all know at least one of those, don't we?

Here's the thing-no one has learned from their mistakes with this place. It won't ever be a 300+ funerals a year firm again, but it could easily reach 100 to 150 again.

Easily.

I wrote a blog entry awhile back where I pleaded with you, Gentle Reader, not to be your own worst enemy. The litany of business folly associated with the firm in question shows its owners to be worthy of a virtual post office poster plastered under the words "Private Enemy #1."

That is, they only hurt their own business and reputation.

Now, several of you are probably in the position during these dwindling days of '07 to be considering what to do with a poorly-performing property. Maybe it's a satellite operation of the main one, or maybe it is the main one.

Either way, the situation is probably not as bad as you think. (Note that I said "probably" here, kids. There are some firms that cannot be saved due to the fact that management and/or ownership are either consciously or subconsciously doing everything possible to hasten the demise. Funeral homes don't die of natural causes, they die from poor management.)

WELL I'M THROWING THE GAUNTLET DOWN TODAY!

THIS IS NOT FOR WIMPS OR MILQUETOAST LEADERS. CANDY BUTTS, WHINERS AND DULLARDS NEED NOT APPLY.

The best opportunity of the year for owners of these diamonds in the rough happens today.

I proudly announce the 12 MONTH POWER PROFIT MAKEOVER for your funeral firm.

That's right. Here's the chance to make that old dog new again. Blow your competition away and have your customers singing your praises to all of their friends. They won't know what hit them!

MORE PROFITS! MORE CUSTOMERS! A RE-ENERGIZED BUSINESS!

All with no risk to you.

So the question is this...listen closely:

Are you going to spend the last few weeks of the year losing sleep and worrying about what to do with your business?

OR

Are you going to take control of this situation and spend the next 7 weeks building a plan to hit full force starting January 1 (if not sooner)?

What are you waiting for? You're ready to make more money, aren't you?

Summon every bit of brains and guts you got...it's going to be a wild and fun ride back into realm of success. Call me and we'll get you back on track for less than the price of a small Yellow Pages ad.

The war drums are beating again, guerrillas. It's time to make a stand!

Here's to the few of us with the fortitude to seek what we want and go for it!

I'll be here waiting to see who joins us on this noble quest. 2008 and the funeral business will never be the same.

FORTUNE BEFRIENDS THE BOLD

You coming?

Yahhooooo!

Dan

PS - The bold (pun intended) quote up the is also from John Dryden. I hope he lived as boldly as he wrote. I plan to...do you? Call me, my number is 314-640-9770.

The first few to respond will pay 50%($1500)less than the slowpokes, because motivated people are successful people, and are easier to work with.

The MOST SUCCESSFUL FIRM of this program will get EVERY DIME OF THEIR MONEY RETURNED as a reward for their hard work.

Now, you truly have nothing to lose!

A Bonus Post!

Actually, it's more of a late-evolving thought.

Here's an idea for a last minute PR event for those of you inclined or in need for some good & easy publicity.

Set up a Halloween Safety Stop either at your firm or somewhere close where trick or treaters can go if they feel scared or threatened or if they just need a rest. Get a tent from your vault company and set it up in your parking lot or nearby park or other high traffic (foot traffic, that is) area for kids trick or treating. Coordinate with your local police/sheriff to have an officer there (better yet, the DARE car if they have one, or their Department mascot or McGruff the Crime Dog, you get the idea. )

Have candy to hand out, maybe bottles of water for the parents. Giveaways are always good, people love the freebies. Decorate with hay bales, cornstalks and Jack o'Lanterns.

Then publicize the heck out of it. Send press releases to the radio/TV/newspapers. Mention in the TV releases that there are photo ops of kids and the families, or the DARE car or McGruff if you get him, and make sure you're set up by 4:00pm so that a TV crew can set up and do a live broadcast from your spot for the 5 o'clock news.

If you do it right, you can probably get this done for $200 or less. You'll get a lot of exposure and good PR in exchange for that paltry sum.

Just food for thought!

Happy Halloween! (My personal favorite holiday, in case you were wondering.)

Dan

www.guerrilladirector.com

Merry Christmas, Norman Rockwell!

My soon to be new boss was walking me through on a tour of the funeral home. He spoke with misty eyes and froggy throat about the years of family tradition and his personal favorite...their holiday remembrance service.

"The music, the fireplaces crackling, the tree and decorations...it just feels like Christmas."

He also told me that the owners and staff were just like one big happy family. He failed to specify that he meant the Manson family. :) But I digress.

If you haven't jumped on the holiday program freight train yet, I highly recommend you do so now, while the pumpkins are still in the windows, so you have time to plan it appropriately.

I'll leave it to you whether you think it should be an open house type format, or a memorial remembrance service...you should do whatever you believe your community would like. Saturday or Sunday afternoons are times when these have been most successfully held.

Whatever you do...go heavy on the Norman Rockwell.

Music, food, decor-think Martha Stewart meets the Saturday Evening Post. Sights, smells, sounds, tastes-here's your ultimate chance to do some serious primal marketing. Wrap up the experience in a neat little bow and reap the benefits of making numerous primal connections with your community. Lucky for you, it happens to be just before one of the busier times of the year!

Inside and out...deck the halls. But do it right. Too much is gaudy...too little makes it look like an afterthought. If you have the budget...consult with an interior designer (or if you don't, talk to a friend or acquaintance whose house is always the best in the bunch). At the very least, pick up Southern Living, Better Homes and Gardens, Martha Stewart or any of their ilk when they have their special holiday issues. Page through until you see a style that harmonizes with your firm's architecture and interior design. When in doubt, ask a professional. Ambience sets the tone for the whole experience...do it right or not at all.

Here's one of the tricky parts-if you decide to pursue the remembrance service event, avoid asking your favorite preacher to host it. Instead, reach out to a new pastor or priest. It's a great opportunity to connect with them and introduce not only to the community, but to your firm and staff in a way that's more comfortable for them. After all, they've all done Christmas services before...at least they should have. The firm I worked with used both a Catholic priest and a Protestant minister for each holiday event, inviting new ones every year. This actually worked out quite well, and we made sure to give each one equal billing and time.

Music is very important. Low budgets might have the local school choir (acappella if they have one) or bigger budgets have a string quartet, or quality soloist.

The final touch would be your refreshments...these can be simple, easy and low-cost. Christmas cookies and punch, coffee, hot chocolate, hot cider. Easy stuff to buy at a warehouse club or local bakery. You can't go wrong by offering more, but don't feel like you need to.

The true guerrilla would make sure the attendees leave with a meaningful parting gift with some lasting memory value. An ornament for the tree, a wreath lapel pin, a Christmas tree seedling, etc. After all, they took the time on their weekend to come see you when they didn't have a need to. Reward them with some thoughtful planning and an inspiring event, and they'll reward you with their dollars later.

Thanks for the comments that keep coming! And for those curious among you, no one other than the reader I mentioned last week stepped forward in defense of Proper English. Bad grammar carries the day!

Here's to a profitable last quarter for us all!

Warm Autumn Wishes,

Dan Heaman, CFSP
The Guerrilla Director
http://www.guerrilladirector.com/

PS - No one was able to guess the quote from the last post - it was Kurt Cobain.

I'll make the same offer this time for this quote - a free one-on-one hour long coaching session to the first one to correctly name the author:

"The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple."

Peace,

D

A Little Sugar Helps The Medicine Go Down!

Greetings Friends!

Sorry for the unusual absence...time is a precious commodity and that being said, let's call the meeting of the Order of The Sleepless Knights to order, please! (With apologies to Mr. Buffett!)

There's something to be said about rattling cages, and my article on FuneralWire provoked an interesting reponse from one of the readers.

This nice lady took me to task for the article I wrote about Holiday Marketing Plans...not about my theorys or observations, but my writing style. She found such things like my referring to our client families with the generic "Joe and Jane Jones" (a variation of the technique called Seussing, for all you copywriting folk out there) and my using vile words, like "crap."

Oh, crap.

As I typed a response to this reader (by the way, I'm ALWAYS read and respond to feedback from my readers, so if you want to weigh in, fire away!) I found myself befuddled and amused by her concerns, for this reason:

Due to years of our own selfishness and ineptitude, the crystal ball is murky at best. Don't we have more important things to address, like the future of our firms and our industry?

There are a number of us working to recharge and renew funeral service as we know it. My knowledge base is funeral service marketing/advertising, public relations, and customer service excellence. I write how I talk, which is one of the first rules they teach you in any successful writing course. Dutifully sit through your English classes, and if you choose to write as a vocation, bid Mr. Warriner goodbye and write how you speak.

So here's what my thoughts are:

Normal marketing article *snore*
Classroom style lecture *ditto*
Adhering to the Queen's English *major snore*

Can you imagine if Stephen King wrote his tomes in the style of a textbook?

My goal is for YOU to feel as if we were sitting down together on a Friday at a tavern in our neighborhood...sipping a frosty one and talking about our week. This week's blog entry is all about you...how do you want me to present these morsels to you? Harvard Grammarian or Guerrilla Director? I want to do it the way YOU want me to!

Thanks for your time, and I look forward to your comments!

Best,

Dan Heaman, CFSP
The Guerrilla Director
http://www.guerrilladirector.com/


PS - Do I dare risk ruffling a few more feathers?...I'll give a free coaching session to the first person who emails me with the name of the person who said this:

"I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not."

Have a great week!

D