Seven years ago today....twin structures

"Where were when the world stopped turning that September day?"- Alan Jackson

Sure, I remember...we were preparing for a HUGE memorial service of a very prominent local attorney. I was driving in, listening to some inane morning show out of New York when the first plane hit. I had just turned into the driveway of the funeral home when the second one hit...the chaos that followed blurs pretty much everything else. We went forward with the memorial service as planned, and I remember a soldier in attendance running out with an emergency page as the day unfolded.

But what I remember most consumed my mind for a solid week. And had nothing to do with the terrorist attacks.

I took a first call from a father whose wife had just had a miscarriage. He was distraught, with questions barrelling through his mind and out his mouth. He even asked me if I thought he and his wife would be able to have any more babies.

The sucker punch of it for that family and that day: They miscarried twins.

Exactly one week later, seven years ago today, under an eerily quiet sky save for the occasional fighter jet (the airways were still locked down), I stood at the graveside during a insultingly perfect September day, listening to the minister trying hard to find some comfort to give the devastated parents.

His opening lines seared my brain, and stand out just as sharp and clear as if I heard the words mere minutes ago...

"Last week, the world lost two gigantic twin structures of concrete, steel and glass.

And on that same horrible day last week, the world lost two tiny, fragile twin structures of flesh, blood and bone..."

Ka POW! Everyone's attention was riveted to that pastor. He sought out and delivered one of the most poignant funeral messages I (or anyone else in attendance) ever heard.

Few of our colleagues in this wonderfully rewarding field would consider the choice of a minister as a touchpoint of customer service.

But it is. It is such a make or break detail for the funeral experience to have the appropriate clergy or celebrant handling the service.

The clergyman in this instance is pretty much a "rent-a-collar" for families desiring short and sweet, or what he termed "Jesus-lite" services, and he does a phenomenal job most of the time...but he isn't for every family.

How much thought do you give to matching the pastor to the family (beyond the obvious of matching Baptist to Baptist, priest for the Catholics, etc.)? Do you match personalities and styles, too?

If your answer is no, then I must ask "Why not?"

Don't tell me it's too much work...if it's too much work for you to truly serve your families, get the hell out of the funeral business and go somewhere where they don't care about service, like the DMV or IRS.

If you simply don't have the resources in your area for your families, then it is up to you to polish and study up on your theology and literature. Serve a pastor-less family and wow them with your verbal prowess. And some day, when you and I are having a beer together, ask me about my "Apocalypse Now" eulogy.

I'm particularly proud of that one!

Here's to your success! I hope you are all doing well, and my prayers and warm thoughts go to my readers afflicted by the hurricane over the weekend.

Yours,

Dan

PS-The Guerrilla Director site is down for a while...I want to redo it. I'll let you know when it's back up and running. And I have a question...have you ever been invited to Arlington?