Well, after a month of cloying ads on TV and the three songs that make me truly hate Christmas (that Paul McCartney nonsense-the worst Christmas song ever, the hippopotamus drivel and Eartha Kitt's "Santa Baby") and make me reconsider Festivus as a viable holiday alternative...we're almost there...almost out of the woods.
I plan to watch my favorite Christmas movies this weekend: "The Ref" with Denis Leary, "Scrooged" with Bill Murray (a guilty pleasure with great subtext about the value of a charitable heart) and of course "Christmas Vacation." I highly recommend all three!
No "It's a Wonderful Life" for this cowboy...I guess I'm too cynical.
Cynicism aside, I do believe in giving at this time of year. Happy giving. Fearless giving. True gifts of love and kindness. True giving usually means awkward reactions when I get overwhelming gratitude, because I long ago learned that it's not about the reward, it's about the gift.
I have a gift for you, good and patient reader. You've stuck by me through the good posts and bad, and now comes the time for my thanks to you. Send me the ad of your choice to dan@guerrilladirector.com for a free evaluation and personal recommendation to power it up. No hooks. No catches. No obligation.
Yellow pages ad? Bring it on. Newspaper? You bet. A radio spot? Fire away!
I'll analyze, ponder and offer suggestions for tweaks to increase their drawing power.
Free. Costs you nothing. Zip. Nada. My gift to you for putting up with my someetimes aimless mental meanderings.
As you ponder your personal and business course of action for the new year, remember that what you give away is returned to you tenfold. The Karmic Law of the Universe which you find translated into every language and every religious text in some manner or another.
You know what that means.
It means that it's true.
No one has yet found an argument against the virtues of charity, mercy and kindness. The key is your motivation. Give for the sake of giving, not for the sake of what you'll get in return. The less you expect, the more you will receive.
That's the crazy, enigmatic part of the law. And the longer I'm alive, the stronger and truer the law fixes itself. I adhere to it faithfully.
And that means you can send me whatever you want, and I'll get it back to you-better, stronger, faster-the Six Million Dollar Ad. It will be razor sharp and ready for you to take aim on 2008 as THE force to be reckoned with in your market.
My gift to you.
Don't wait. The first ones in line always get the best ride!
Merry Christmas. I wish to all of you and your families a peaceful, memorable and blessed holiday. I bid you the best tidings for a prosperous 2008.
Thank you, friends. You've made 2007 my most successful year ever. I hope to make 2008 YOUR most successful year ever.
Warmly,
Dan Heaman, CFSP
The Guerrilla Director
dan@guerrilladirector.com
PS~Want me to review and comment on your website? Send me the address to my email. Free for the remainder of the year!
Friday, December 21, 2007
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
A Thousand Little Details....
Fearless, yet Gentle Readers:
I wrote the following piece as a submission to a publication that never acknowledged its receipt. After sending a follow up to see if they had received it, or if it needed revision, I got no reply. So, rather than "letting the words of my youth slip away" as our pig-tailed friend Mr. Nelson sings, here ya go!
A Thousand Little Details...
How Superior Attitude and Attention Wins You Customers Forever
My four year old daughter is exceptionally brave. I took her to a local amusement park and she demanded to ride the weather-beaten wooden coaster tucked away at the back end of the park.
Autumn’s first leafy victims skittered across the asphalt as I explained how fast the ride went, the ups and downs and sharp turns…all in a vain attempt to turn her interest to something kinder to my stomach.
No such luck.
Fortunately, short lines helped keep my thoughts moving, and as I stared up at the flaking wooden beams, wondering silently about the number of termite family hoedowns currently in progress as well as thoughts of the young (possibly hung over) college kid who did the maintenance check on it this morning. I gazed at an ungodly number of screws and bolts that were laying on the ground around the concrete support base. And I thought to myself, “The difference between this being a good experience and a nightmare is a thousand little details.”
Details like how many of those screws had been replaced. And the (hopefully) sharp eyes of the person who inspected it in the morning before the first riders were allowed on.
Your own customer’s experience is also completely dependent on a thousand little details. Details that are mostly ignored by low-end price competitors. I spoke with owner of a discount operation here in my hometown who told me about all the things he does “just like the big guys.”
Like what? Put the body in a casket? Drive the hearse to the cemetery and put the casket in the ground? Maybe. But that’s where the similarity ends.
I vividly recall another thing he told me. “I don’t offer any of that hand-holding baloney.”
Ah yes, nothing repels customers more during a time of loss and sorrow like comfort and guidance.
A quick check of the phone book shows me this guy’s no longer in business. His original business name included the phrase “removal” in it. “Removal?”
Stump removal? How about refuse removal? Personally, I can’t fathom hiring a “removal” firm to take care of my mom. Especially one who’s only concern is their convenience and your checkbook. I feel better after the “removal” of his company listing from the phone book.
Your company name is a big detail to your customer. Don’t try to be cute or preachy…both can sabotage your marketing efforts.
A thousand little details. This is where you get to shine. You are in the business of holding hands with your customer. Be ready, be knowledgeable and be genuine. Listen to those little stories that families often share during the course of an arrangement. That’s where you get most of those little details. A favorite song. (For .99 with iTunes you can make a whammy of an impression on a family by downloading a song and burning a CD to play at the visitation or service.) Favorite foods, holidays or poems. Beloved scripture readings or ministers. (Do you REALLY want to score points? Do some homework to try and locate that long ago priest or minister that they loved so much.)
A thousand little details. Like your manicured grounds and landscape. Come on, people. Curb appeal is a very, very powerful marketing tool. An immaculate, pleasantly aromatic facility. Invest in some high-quality scented oil air fresheners that you plug in. (They’re about $4 to $6 at the store.) Food scents (like apple-cinnamon) are particularly good.
A thousand little details. A friendly, professional voice answering your phone. Warm and engaging greeters to direct families and their visitors. High-quality, attractive motor equipment (yours or rented) can make powerful impressions on families and attendees. The more professional, thoughtful and distinctive image you convey, the smaller your marketing budget needs to be.
Got your holiday shopping done yet? Give yourself (and your business) a gift this year. The gift of profits beyond expectations. The gift of unprecedented success. The gift of focused fearless leadership. The gift of an on-site visit from the Guerrilla Director. Call me at 314-640-9770 for details.
Cheers!
Dan Heaman, CFSP
The Guerrilla Director
I wrote the following piece as a submission to a publication that never acknowledged its receipt. After sending a follow up to see if they had received it, or if it needed revision, I got no reply. So, rather than "letting the words of my youth slip away" as our pig-tailed friend Mr. Nelson sings, here ya go!
A Thousand Little Details...
How Superior Attitude and Attention Wins You Customers Forever
My four year old daughter is exceptionally brave. I took her to a local amusement park and she demanded to ride the weather-beaten wooden coaster tucked away at the back end of the park.
Autumn’s first leafy victims skittered across the asphalt as I explained how fast the ride went, the ups and downs and sharp turns…all in a vain attempt to turn her interest to something kinder to my stomach.
No such luck.
Fortunately, short lines helped keep my thoughts moving, and as I stared up at the flaking wooden beams, wondering silently about the number of termite family hoedowns currently in progress as well as thoughts of the young (possibly hung over) college kid who did the maintenance check on it this morning. I gazed at an ungodly number of screws and bolts that were laying on the ground around the concrete support base. And I thought to myself, “The difference between this being a good experience and a nightmare is a thousand little details.”
Details like how many of those screws had been replaced. And the (hopefully) sharp eyes of the person who inspected it in the morning before the first riders were allowed on.
Your own customer’s experience is also completely dependent on a thousand little details. Details that are mostly ignored by low-end price competitors. I spoke with owner of a discount operation here in my hometown who told me about all the things he does “just like the big guys.”
Like what? Put the body in a casket? Drive the hearse to the cemetery and put the casket in the ground? Maybe. But that’s where the similarity ends.
I vividly recall another thing he told me. “I don’t offer any of that hand-holding baloney.”
Ah yes, nothing repels customers more during a time of loss and sorrow like comfort and guidance.
A quick check of the phone book shows me this guy’s no longer in business. His original business name included the phrase “removal” in it. “Removal?”
Stump removal? How about refuse removal? Personally, I can’t fathom hiring a “removal” firm to take care of my mom. Especially one who’s only concern is their convenience and your checkbook. I feel better after the “removal” of his company listing from the phone book.
Your company name is a big detail to your customer. Don’t try to be cute or preachy…both can sabotage your marketing efforts.
A thousand little details. This is where you get to shine. You are in the business of holding hands with your customer. Be ready, be knowledgeable and be genuine. Listen to those little stories that families often share during the course of an arrangement. That’s where you get most of those little details. A favorite song. (For .99 with iTunes you can make a whammy of an impression on a family by downloading a song and burning a CD to play at the visitation or service.) Favorite foods, holidays or poems. Beloved scripture readings or ministers. (Do you REALLY want to score points? Do some homework to try and locate that long ago priest or minister that they loved so much.)
A thousand little details. Like your manicured grounds and landscape. Come on, people. Curb appeal is a very, very powerful marketing tool. An immaculate, pleasantly aromatic facility. Invest in some high-quality scented oil air fresheners that you plug in. (They’re about $4 to $6 at the store.) Food scents (like apple-cinnamon) are particularly good.
A thousand little details. A friendly, professional voice answering your phone. Warm and engaging greeters to direct families and their visitors. High-quality, attractive motor equipment (yours or rented) can make powerful impressions on families and attendees. The more professional, thoughtful and distinctive image you convey, the smaller your marketing budget needs to be.
Got your holiday shopping done yet? Give yourself (and your business) a gift this year. The gift of profits beyond expectations. The gift of unprecedented success. The gift of focused fearless leadership. The gift of an on-site visit from the Guerrilla Director. Call me at 314-640-9770 for details.
Cheers!
Dan Heaman, CFSP
The Guerrilla Director
Monday, December 3, 2007
Has Your Tiger Died?
Greetings Friends!
Alas! Ol' Man Winter has seized us, not to relent until the Great Axis rotates and the Druids do the ancient equinox dance...
I find myself (as all do now and then) with an increasing amount of life frustration. And then I reread a mailing from a man I've met, yet listened to many times. The wonderful thing about reading something like this is that no matter how many times you read, it has the same effect...
It's something akin to throwing fresh coal on a dwindling fire...a long burn with intense heat.
We all need some extra heat, especially now - to kick Winter in the pants.
I was speaking with a funeral home owner yesterday who responded to my inquiry about the quality of his business year with the words "business was flat, no gain but no loss." And he seemed to be absolutely positively fine with that!!!!!
In fact you could hear the relief in his voice that he didn't go backwards.
How sad.
Are you satisfied with mediocrity?
Have you conceded defeat to being just average?
I have not. Acceptance of mediocrity is contemptible. This owner could be seizing a once in a lifetime opportunity to fairly and honestly rip market share from another larger firm on the cusp of making a grave business mistake...and yet, he's content to do what he's always done.
Contentment with being average will be on the cause of death line of your firm's death certificate. Contributing factors will include fear, laziness and failure to seize golden opportunities like the one he is passing on.
Don't play Salieri to your competitor's Mozart. BE Mozart for God's sake!
Want some free fuel for your fire? Email me at dan@guerrilladirector.com and I'll forward something to you that will stoke those flames, I promise you!
The title of this post might give some of the more astute readers a hint!
Don't let your fire grow dim....if there's embers there can be success!
You aren't giving up your business and prosperity up to the Ol' Man Winter of Mediocrity, are you?
If so, let me know. Those of us with guts will sing the Requiem for you.
Toasting your success!
Dan Heaman, CFSP
The Guerrilla Director
PS - Need your preneed sales team fired up too? Still getting hung up on while cold-calling? That's a shame. I can help.
PPS - Attention blog readers...your chance to take advantage of the 2008 12 Month Profit Makeover plan is just about gone. So much for you to gain for only $150 a month. How can you lose with that? If the ideas you gain only net you a couple of extra funerals, you're on the winning side. But I'll bet if you use all of these tactics and bonuses offered in this plan YOU WILL BE WONDERING WHAT THE HELL TO DO WITH ALL THE MONEY BY THIS TIME NEXT YEAR! The cost of the plan is so much less than the cost of doing nothing.
I'm going to update you regularly with the owner who I spoke of in this post. Doing nothing is going to cost him dearly...because a more savvy owner is circling like a shark, more than happy to do what the other won't.
dan@guerrilladirector.com
Alas! Ol' Man Winter has seized us, not to relent until the Great Axis rotates and the Druids do the ancient equinox dance...
I find myself (as all do now and then) with an increasing amount of life frustration. And then I reread a mailing from a man I've met, yet listened to many times. The wonderful thing about reading something like this is that no matter how many times you read, it has the same effect...
It's something akin to throwing fresh coal on a dwindling fire...a long burn with intense heat.
We all need some extra heat, especially now - to kick Winter in the pants.
I was speaking with a funeral home owner yesterday who responded to my inquiry about the quality of his business year with the words "business was flat, no gain but no loss." And he seemed to be absolutely positively fine with that!!!!!
In fact you could hear the relief in his voice that he didn't go backwards.
How sad.
Are you satisfied with mediocrity?
Have you conceded defeat to being just average?
I have not. Acceptance of mediocrity is contemptible. This owner could be seizing a once in a lifetime opportunity to fairly and honestly rip market share from another larger firm on the cusp of making a grave business mistake...and yet, he's content to do what he's always done.
Contentment with being average will be on the cause of death line of your firm's death certificate. Contributing factors will include fear, laziness and failure to seize golden opportunities like the one he is passing on.
Don't play Salieri to your competitor's Mozart. BE Mozart for God's sake!
Want some free fuel for your fire? Email me at dan@guerrilladirector.com and I'll forward something to you that will stoke those flames, I promise you!
The title of this post might give some of the more astute readers a hint!
Don't let your fire grow dim....if there's embers there can be success!
You aren't giving up your business and prosperity up to the Ol' Man Winter of Mediocrity, are you?
If so, let me know. Those of us with guts will sing the Requiem for you.
Toasting your success!
Dan Heaman, CFSP
The Guerrilla Director
PS - Need your preneed sales team fired up too? Still getting hung up on while cold-calling? That's a shame. I can help.
PPS - Attention blog readers...your chance to take advantage of the 2008 12 Month Profit Makeover plan is just about gone. So much for you to gain for only $150 a month. How can you lose with that? If the ideas you gain only net you a couple of extra funerals, you're on the winning side. But I'll bet if you use all of these tactics and bonuses offered in this plan YOU WILL BE WONDERING WHAT THE HELL TO DO WITH ALL THE MONEY BY THIS TIME NEXT YEAR! The cost of the plan is so much less than the cost of doing nothing.
I'm going to update you regularly with the owner who I spoke of in this post. Doing nothing is going to cost him dearly...because a more savvy owner is circling like a shark, more than happy to do what the other won't.
dan@guerrilladirector.com
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