Ahhhh...the sweet, sweet pain of a dysfunctional workplace.
We've all been there....some of us might even still be there.
You know, in the good ol' days of my apprenticeship, I had the great fortune of studying under and modeling my style after one of the most gifted funeral director/embalmers I've ever known.
Hadley had words of wisdom for me, which have stuck in my head like verbal Krazy Glue.
"Danny...this business will do one of three things to you. It'll turn you into 1) a drunk, 2) a nut or 3) a bastard. Choose your path wisely."
Oh, I've worked with and for my share of drunks and bastards...I imagine many of you have, too.
The fraternity antics, hazing of "new meat", verbally and sexually harassing co-workers...and that's just the women!
just kidding, folks...no need to fire off a slew of corrective email.
But seriously, if you are noticing change in your staff like increased hostility, tension, frequent absences and tardiness~you might have a problem.
The emotionally charged atmosphere of funeral service lends itself to destructive, dysfunctional employee behaviors, especially in a managerial vacuum...hell, even the ol' Guerrilla himself has been known to fire off a scathing review of co-workers and or managers...
But it's not healthy...nor is it good for your bottom line. Provide, Nay, ENSURE appropriate stress relief is at the ready for your staff...it can be as simple as letting them take a long lunch on a slow afternoon, provided that they can be reached and return quickly if needed.
Keep your good weather eye on your front liners...quench the flare ups before they rage into blazes, or you might get burnt.
Until next time,
Dan
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
A whispered bit of advice...
Lean in close...I don't want everyone to hear this ~
No matter what the economy is doing...no matter what your competition is doing...you, and you alone will decide if your firm is going to thrive this year or dive this year...
You're welcome~
Dan
No matter what the economy is doing...no matter what your competition is doing...you, and you alone will decide if your firm is going to thrive this year or dive this year...
You're welcome~
Dan
Thursday, January 15, 2009
A funeral industry bailout?
Greetings, friends!
And, might I add, thank you for patience with my extended absences from this virtual paradise this past year as I stood by my wife as we worked through a series of surgeries, pain management, physical therapy and other related (and ineffective) tortures. She had her most recent (and hopefully last!) surgery this morning. Keep her in your thoughts!
That being said, to those of you wondering what that salty car ad spoof has to do with our neat little corner of the business world?
One word, folks.
Arrogance.
While that ad was neither created nor sanctioned by The Grande Tres, it certainly rings true, no?
Arrogance, and its siblings laziness, stupidity, et al.
Causes of death on the once admirable and innovative American automotive industry's death certificate.
AND current diagnoses of our own beloved profession.
How long have we acted like our consumers had no other choice?
How long have we jacked up prices and maybe cut services...for the sake of the bottom line?
Have we tried to swap in those crappy Asian slave labor caskets in the place of our own countrymen's handiwork, and not adjusted the price to accurately represent our cost and a reasonable profit margin? All in the vain hope that the consumer won't notice? Or perhaps we think that they're not smart enough to notice....
In short...is our industry the next to do the Walk of Shame and have to get in line with the failed and disgraced to beg for our futures? Because of our arrogance?
Will the next ad spoof feature a hearse/casket coach/Eternal Edsel or whatever we call 'em these days? With the headline beginning "You didn't buy our shitty caskets..."
A bad economy is already taking its toll on our margins...factor in arrogance, bad management, and you've got yourself a one way ticket to the bank...hat in hand...head down...asking for a bit of charity.
And we'll deserve it. Too many of us are still operating like it's 1979 and discounters are a blissful 15 years away from being any sort of appreciable threat, consumers were still fairly loyal and had not begun the tectonic shift away from their relational buying habits to transactional buying habits...
Do you get it yet?
Are you still firmly esconced in the sand, Mr. Ostrich?
Do you see your possible future?
And what are you going to do about it?
Let me know...I want to know who wants to live and who wants to be the punchline of some late night talk show host's joke...
Dan
PS - Oh yeah...I'm as irritated as I sound!
And, might I add, thank you for patience with my extended absences from this virtual paradise this past year as I stood by my wife as we worked through a series of surgeries, pain management, physical therapy and other related (and ineffective) tortures. She had her most recent (and hopefully last!) surgery this morning. Keep her in your thoughts!
That being said, to those of you wondering what that salty car ad spoof has to do with our neat little corner of the business world?
One word, folks.
Arrogance.
While that ad was neither created nor sanctioned by The Grande Tres, it certainly rings true, no?
Arrogance, and its siblings laziness, stupidity, et al.
Causes of death on the once admirable and innovative American automotive industry's death certificate.
AND current diagnoses of our own beloved profession.
How long have we acted like our consumers had no other choice?
How long have we jacked up prices and maybe cut services...for the sake of the bottom line?
Have we tried to swap in those crappy Asian slave labor caskets in the place of our own countrymen's handiwork, and not adjusted the price to accurately represent our cost and a reasonable profit margin? All in the vain hope that the consumer won't notice? Or perhaps we think that they're not smart enough to notice....
In short...is our industry the next to do the Walk of Shame and have to get in line with the failed and disgraced to beg for our futures? Because of our arrogance?
Will the next ad spoof feature a hearse/casket coach/Eternal Edsel or whatever we call 'em these days? With the headline beginning "You didn't buy our shitty caskets..."
A bad economy is already taking its toll on our margins...factor in arrogance, bad management, and you've got yourself a one way ticket to the bank...hat in hand...head down...asking for a bit of charity.
And we'll deserve it. Too many of us are still operating like it's 1979 and discounters are a blissful 15 years away from being any sort of appreciable threat, consumers were still fairly loyal and had not begun the tectonic shift away from their relational buying habits to transactional buying habits...
Do you get it yet?
Are you still firmly esconced in the sand, Mr. Ostrich?
Do you see your possible future?
And what are you going to do about it?
Let me know...I want to know who wants to live and who wants to be the punchline of some late night talk show host's joke...
Dan
PS - Oh yeah...I'm as irritated as I sound!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Back in Black, baby!
Now the holidays are behind us and the credit card bills are before us...
Let's get back to work, shall we?
Before we plunge headlong into the maelstrom, let's take a moment to gather our thoughts and reflect on the absurdities of the past year with a little levity...
The image above cracks me up...mainly because it's true. And I say this as a man who only buys American cars...even when they don't deserve it. Kind of like all the folks who stayed with Harley-Davidson during the crappy '70s/AMF years...
Before I get chastised for the coarse language in the ad, allow me to state that I did not create it, but found on another site (Special thanks to Anita Thompson and the Owl Farm blog!)
Try not to squirt too much milk from you nose, and I look forward to riding the blogger range again soon!
Cheers!
Dan
PS-How does this "ad" pertain to our industry? It really does if you just think a bit outside the normal realm. Drop me an email if you want me to fill you in...
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Patton Speech
The guy removed the Patton video that once was here...
Fret not...the good General and William Wallace before him, I'll continue to find nuggets to inspire, motivate and encourage...
Fret not...the good General and William Wallace before him, I'll continue to find nuggets to inspire, motivate and encourage...
Seven years ago today....twin structures
"Where were when the world stopped turning that September day?"- Alan Jackson
Sure, I remember...we were preparing for a HUGE memorial service of a very prominent local attorney. I was driving in, listening to some inane morning show out of New York when the first plane hit. I had just turned into the driveway of the funeral home when the second one hit...the chaos that followed blurs pretty much everything else. We went forward with the memorial service as planned, and I remember a soldier in attendance running out with an emergency page as the day unfolded.
But what I remember most consumed my mind for a solid week. And had nothing to do with the terrorist attacks.
I took a first call from a father whose wife had just had a miscarriage. He was distraught, with questions barrelling through his mind and out his mouth. He even asked me if I thought he and his wife would be able to have any more babies.
The sucker punch of it for that family and that day: They miscarried twins.
Exactly one week later, seven years ago today, under an eerily quiet sky save for the occasional fighter jet (the airways were still locked down), I stood at the graveside during a insultingly perfect September day, listening to the minister trying hard to find some comfort to give the devastated parents.
His opening lines seared my brain, and stand out just as sharp and clear as if I heard the words mere minutes ago...
"Last week, the world lost two gigantic twin structures of concrete, steel and glass.
And on that same horrible day last week, the world lost two tiny, fragile twin structures of flesh, blood and bone..."
Ka POW! Everyone's attention was riveted to that pastor. He sought out and delivered one of the most poignant funeral messages I (or anyone else in attendance) ever heard.
Few of our colleagues in this wonderfully rewarding field would consider the choice of a minister as a touchpoint of customer service.
But it is. It is such a make or break detail for the funeral experience to have the appropriate clergy or celebrant handling the service.
The clergyman in this instance is pretty much a "rent-a-collar" for families desiring short and sweet, or what he termed "Jesus-lite" services, and he does a phenomenal job most of the time...but he isn't for every family.
How much thought do you give to matching the pastor to the family (beyond the obvious of matching Baptist to Baptist, priest for the Catholics, etc.)? Do you match personalities and styles, too?
If your answer is no, then I must ask "Why not?"
Don't tell me it's too much work...if it's too much work for you to truly serve your families, get the hell out of the funeral business and go somewhere where they don't care about service, like the DMV or IRS.
If you simply don't have the resources in your area for your families, then it is up to you to polish and study up on your theology and literature. Serve a pastor-less family and wow them with your verbal prowess. And some day, when you and I are having a beer together, ask me about my "Apocalypse Now" eulogy.
I'm particularly proud of that one!
Here's to your success! I hope you are all doing well, and my prayers and warm thoughts go to my readers afflicted by the hurricane over the weekend.
Yours,
Dan
PS-The Guerrilla Director site is down for a while...I want to redo it. I'll let you know when it's back up and running. And I have a question...have you ever been invited to Arlington?
Sure, I remember...we were preparing for a HUGE memorial service of a very prominent local attorney. I was driving in, listening to some inane morning show out of New York when the first plane hit. I had just turned into the driveway of the funeral home when the second one hit...the chaos that followed blurs pretty much everything else. We went forward with the memorial service as planned, and I remember a soldier in attendance running out with an emergency page as the day unfolded.
But what I remember most consumed my mind for a solid week. And had nothing to do with the terrorist attacks.
I took a first call from a father whose wife had just had a miscarriage. He was distraught, with questions barrelling through his mind and out his mouth. He even asked me if I thought he and his wife would be able to have any more babies.
The sucker punch of it for that family and that day: They miscarried twins.
Exactly one week later, seven years ago today, under an eerily quiet sky save for the occasional fighter jet (the airways were still locked down), I stood at the graveside during a insultingly perfect September day, listening to the minister trying hard to find some comfort to give the devastated parents.
His opening lines seared my brain, and stand out just as sharp and clear as if I heard the words mere minutes ago...
"Last week, the world lost two gigantic twin structures of concrete, steel and glass.
And on that same horrible day last week, the world lost two tiny, fragile twin structures of flesh, blood and bone..."
Ka POW! Everyone's attention was riveted to that pastor. He sought out and delivered one of the most poignant funeral messages I (or anyone else in attendance) ever heard.
Few of our colleagues in this wonderfully rewarding field would consider the choice of a minister as a touchpoint of customer service.
But it is. It is such a make or break detail for the funeral experience to have the appropriate clergy or celebrant handling the service.
The clergyman in this instance is pretty much a "rent-a-collar" for families desiring short and sweet, or what he termed "Jesus-lite" services, and he does a phenomenal job most of the time...but he isn't for every family.
How much thought do you give to matching the pastor to the family (beyond the obvious of matching Baptist to Baptist, priest for the Catholics, etc.)? Do you match personalities and styles, too?
If your answer is no, then I must ask "Why not?"
Don't tell me it's too much work...if it's too much work for you to truly serve your families, get the hell out of the funeral business and go somewhere where they don't care about service, like the DMV or IRS.
If you simply don't have the resources in your area for your families, then it is up to you to polish and study up on your theology and literature. Serve a pastor-less family and wow them with your verbal prowess. And some day, when you and I are having a beer together, ask me about my "Apocalypse Now" eulogy.
I'm particularly proud of that one!
Here's to your success! I hope you are all doing well, and my prayers and warm thoughts go to my readers afflicted by the hurricane over the weekend.
Yours,
Dan
PS-The Guerrilla Director site is down for a while...I want to redo it. I'll let you know when it's back up and running. And I have a question...have you ever been invited to Arlington?
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Your thoughts would be appreciated...
Greetings, all!
Thanks to all of you who contacted me with intelligent questions and comments, and especially to those who showed patience with my not reealing the outcome of this paltry funereal dilemma...
To answer the burning question: the funeral home comped the services for the professional athlete-not the Katrina evacuee.
What do you think about that?
I think it shows that the priorities of that firm are more than slightly out of whack...but anyone who knows the firm in question probably isn't surprised by the decision.
I'd like others to weigh in. Was their decision right or wrong? What would you have done if you faced the same set of circumstances?
Am I off base in my judgement?
Is there a tasteful and morally acceptable way to make a decision like this and get good PR value from it? If so, how would it be done?
I know there are more than a few of you out there. Speak up and be heard. Act like you've got a set and voice your opinion!
Feel free to dazzle us with your tightly buttressed arguments and sparkling rhetoric!
Opine to your heart's content. I offer this blog as not only a mouthpiece, but a forum. I've got some of the best minds in our industry reading this.
Let's roll!
Peace out,
Dan
Thanks to all of you who contacted me with intelligent questions and comments, and especially to those who showed patience with my not reealing the outcome of this paltry funereal dilemma...
To answer the burning question: the funeral home comped the services for the professional athlete-not the Katrina evacuee.
What do you think about that?
I think it shows that the priorities of that firm are more than slightly out of whack...but anyone who knows the firm in question probably isn't surprised by the decision.
I'd like others to weigh in. Was their decision right or wrong? What would you have done if you faced the same set of circumstances?
Am I off base in my judgement?
Is there a tasteful and morally acceptable way to make a decision like this and get good PR value from it? If so, how would it be done?
I know there are more than a few of you out there. Speak up and be heard. Act like you've got a set and voice your opinion!
Feel free to dazzle us with your tightly buttressed arguments and sparkling rhetoric!
Opine to your heart's content. I offer this blog as not only a mouthpiece, but a forum. I've got some of the best minds in our industry reading this.
Let's roll!
Peace out,
Dan
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