YAWP!
Remember from the film "Dead Poets Society" the barbaric YAWP scene?
The past few times I've sat down to slap around the English language and make a post, I've found myself returning to one common theme...
Leadership.
One powerful word three syllables long.
Leadership.
The one crucial and irreplaceable necessity for business success.
Leadership.
Many of you who read this blogs are leaders...or want to be.
I like writing this blog, because those of you who respond give me the gas to keep going, but I want to spend my energy wisely. I've go too many things pulling me in too many different directions. I want to make sure that this is a worthy effort. It stirs passion in my soul to write, but if it's not being read, it is a massive waste of energy.
I call upon you leaders out there, with my barbaric YAWP!!
Make yourselves known....show your solidarity with the ol' Guerrilla and post your thoughts on leadership...what it means to you...the power of passion in a leader.
Sound your barbaric YAWP to the world!
Let the world know that what you are doing is indeed a mountain worth dying on!
Like my previous video posts...Hoist the Colours and A lesson on leadership...
Show the readers of this blog what stirs your soul...anonymously if you must, but do it now!
You'll walk into work a different person tomorrow! I guarantee it.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
A lesson on leadership
If what you are doing stirs no passion in your soul...then what you are pursuing is unworthy of your time, energy and efforts.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Gorillas in the Mist
The first funeral home I worked at was a 135+ year old firm with multiple locations and a good reputation. Not great...just good. Out of town ownership and asinine management behaviors had allowed competitiors carte blanche to come in and take over the market. Call volume had fallen 50% in less than 10 years.
The ownership had sent in gorilla management and expected a miracle turnaround while basically tying the manager's hands and giving them nothing to accomplish said turnaround. Then, when no miracles appeared...a new gorilla charged in from the brush to take over the pack. Can't you almost hear Sir Elton singing "The Circle of Life"...
True guerrillas are leaders, regardless of their position in the company.
Most firms have a guerrilla or two in their ranks.
Most funeral homes are NOT managed by guerrillas. They are managed by GORILLAS. Sounds the same...but it ain't.
Gorillas will beat their chest, hoot, scream and do everything but offer a solution when problems come up.
They fling their offal at their employees to save themselves.
When in distress...they develop diarrhea and pungent body odor. But I digress.
Guerrillas are leaders first by nature...everything else can be taught to them.
Guerrillas are eager to learn, adapt, improve.
Gorillas fling poo.
Identify and nurture the guerrillas in your midst. Shake a tree branch and hoot at the gorillas in your mist. One will build your business. The other won't do a damned thing.
Hoot, hoot!
To your successful week!
Dan
The ownership had sent in gorilla management and expected a miracle turnaround while basically tying the manager's hands and giving them nothing to accomplish said turnaround. Then, when no miracles appeared...a new gorilla charged in from the brush to take over the pack. Can't you almost hear Sir Elton singing "The Circle of Life"...
True guerrillas are leaders, regardless of their position in the company.
Most firms have a guerrilla or two in their ranks.
Most funeral homes are NOT managed by guerrillas. They are managed by GORILLAS. Sounds the same...but it ain't.
Gorillas will beat their chest, hoot, scream and do everything but offer a solution when problems come up.
They fling their offal at their employees to save themselves.
When in distress...they develop diarrhea and pungent body odor. But I digress.
Guerrillas are leaders first by nature...everything else can be taught to them.
Guerrillas are eager to learn, adapt, improve.
Gorillas fling poo.
Identify and nurture the guerrillas in your midst. Shake a tree branch and hoot at the gorillas in your mist. One will build your business. The other won't do a damned thing.
Hoot, hoot!
To your successful week!
Dan
Thursday, June 5, 2008
I hope you enjoyed my guest blogger....
Greetings, good and gentle readers!
Please accept my apologies for my long, unexcused absence from this blog. I would to thank Mr. Marcel Marceau for his willingness to fill in as guest blogger during my hiatus.
Gently put, I ran out of gas. Some more health problems in the family and a breakneck pace at work, very little sleep AND a serious jones to do some fiction writing all culminated in a perfect storm where it was all I could do to finish my entry for the Writer's Digest Writing Competition on deadline and send a few articles in to Funeral Business Advisor all at the expense of my blog and its band of happy readers.
So with that being said, I'd like to let you know that I've completed the tasks I set out to do (including a racy entry into the aforementioned writing competition, which is something I spoke of doing for years but never did until now) and my family is healing (so I'm out of the running for SOB of the Year, just ask my wife.)
My question to you is...what have you been putting off doing for your business?
And what's stopping you?
In the spirit of the Guerrilla Director you know it's time to take action!
Hoist the Colours!
Dan
Please accept my apologies for my long, unexcused absence from this blog. I would to thank Mr. Marcel Marceau for his willingness to fill in as guest blogger during my hiatus.
Gently put, I ran out of gas. Some more health problems in the family and a breakneck pace at work, very little sleep AND a serious jones to do some fiction writing all culminated in a perfect storm where it was all I could do to finish my entry for the Writer's Digest Writing Competition on deadline and send a few articles in to Funeral Business Advisor all at the expense of my blog and its band of happy readers.
So with that being said, I'd like to let you know that I've completed the tasks I set out to do (including a racy entry into the aforementioned writing competition, which is something I spoke of doing for years but never did until now) and my family is healing (so I'm out of the running for SOB of the Year, just ask my wife.)
My question to you is...what have you been putting off doing for your business?
And what's stopping you?
In the spirit of the Guerrilla Director you know it's time to take action!
Hoist the Colours!
Dan
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Fear and Loathing in the Funeral Business....
If you wonder if he's gone to Heaven or Hell — rest assured he will check out them both, find out which one Richard Milhous Nixon went to — and go there.-Ralph Steadman on Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
Greetings, good and gentle readers! Fulsome, abject apologies for the extended absence...I grovel. I abase myself before you.
Don't think that I didn't hear the crickets chirping on this blog, too. I was troubled by my lack of time and energy for this last month. I'll only accept responsibility for February...
January was a blur with client visits, consultations, travel and other related insanity.
Is all forgiven? Good. Let's resume class then, shall we?
Whom does the Guerrilla Director admire? I admire visionaries, rebels, raconteurs, enlightened rogues and originals...one man in particular fits all of these.
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson. One of a few true American originals.
While there are some who claim to live life on their own terms, 99% of those (yours truly, included) are chained and restrained. By marriage. By societal norms. By professional concerns (licensure, fear of censure or censorship). By the almighty dollar.
HST bowed to none.
Jail, unemployment, divorce, poverty. He regarded these as fleeting...like farts in a whirlwind.
He didn't go out of his way to be a bastard. He simply went out of his way to go his own way.
He carried the colors for the first wave of the baby boomers to hit the shores of mortality a few years back. Actually, he was born before the official begin of the BB generation, but immersed himself in the cultures that enveloped the BBs during the '60s, '70s and those weird years in-between.
In 2005, he left this world with a gunshot described by his son (who was in the other room) as sounding like a book hitting the floor. The poetry of the description would have pleased HST, exiting the same way he travelled.
His own way.
The last sound of the writer was that of a book hitting the floor.
His funeral was the subject of a film by Wayne Ewing entitled "When I Die." It followed the planning of HST's farewell service and the Gonzo Memorial. I highly recommend it for anyone as a study of this up and coming tsunami of clients following in HST's footsteps: Self-motivated, self-indulgent people looking for their own Gonzo Memorial.
I've encountered a few of these in my time.
One lady asking to be scattered off the top of the Stratosphere Hotel and Casino in Vegas.
Another wanting a horse-drawn funeral procession, complete with police escort (on horseback, of course).
A gentleman requesting a traditional Viking funeral.
These are true gems, but you'll also meet more common folks like the wonderful woman who wanted the full traditional service with a $5500.00 solid cherry casket which she cremated her husband in after all was finished. (The hand-wringing rube I worked for at the time was actually UPSET by this. Say what? Don't we wish all cremation families chose full traditional services with a solid cherry casket?)
What would your response be to these folks? Laughter, I hope. As in "laughing all the way to bank."
You see, these good people want what they want, and they are NOT, I repeat NOT afraid of a big tab for their requests. They are also not afraid to search outside of their neighborhood for a provider to give them what they want.
Are you the director to tell them no? Or are you the go-to guy who says "let's see how far we can go with it!"
The good news for you, guerrilla, is that we have so many, many lazy, stupid and unoriginal colleagues in this business who would much rather say "no" and go back to their newspaper or computer Solitaire. You are very likely to get the call instead of them.
The guy who says no quickly fades from memory. The go to guy is the first one to get the call from the family friend who loved what they saw at HST-style service.
Don't forget to laugh on the way to the bank.
Yours in profit,
Dan
PS - Here's a little HST to send us out right:
"Walk tall, kick ass and take no guff from those swine..."
Thanks, Hunter. That's about all for now.
D
Greetings, good and gentle readers! Fulsome, abject apologies for the extended absence...I grovel. I abase myself before you.
Don't think that I didn't hear the crickets chirping on this blog, too. I was troubled by my lack of time and energy for this last month. I'll only accept responsibility for February...
January was a blur with client visits, consultations, travel and other related insanity.
Is all forgiven? Good. Let's resume class then, shall we?
Whom does the Guerrilla Director admire? I admire visionaries, rebels, raconteurs, enlightened rogues and originals...one man in particular fits all of these.
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson. One of a few true American originals.
While there are some who claim to live life on their own terms, 99% of those (yours truly, included) are chained and restrained. By marriage. By societal norms. By professional concerns (licensure, fear of censure or censorship). By the almighty dollar.
HST bowed to none.
Jail, unemployment, divorce, poverty. He regarded these as fleeting...like farts in a whirlwind.
He didn't go out of his way to be a bastard. He simply went out of his way to go his own way.
He carried the colors for the first wave of the baby boomers to hit the shores of mortality a few years back. Actually, he was born before the official begin of the BB generation, but immersed himself in the cultures that enveloped the BBs during the '60s, '70s and those weird years in-between.
In 2005, he left this world with a gunshot described by his son (who was in the other room) as sounding like a book hitting the floor. The poetry of the description would have pleased HST, exiting the same way he travelled.
His own way.
The last sound of the writer was that of a book hitting the floor.
His funeral was the subject of a film by Wayne Ewing entitled "When I Die." It followed the planning of HST's farewell service and the Gonzo Memorial. I highly recommend it for anyone as a study of this up and coming tsunami of clients following in HST's footsteps: Self-motivated, self-indulgent people looking for their own Gonzo Memorial.
I've encountered a few of these in my time.
One lady asking to be scattered off the top of the Stratosphere Hotel and Casino in Vegas.
Another wanting a horse-drawn funeral procession, complete with police escort (on horseback, of course).
A gentleman requesting a traditional Viking funeral.
These are true gems, but you'll also meet more common folks like the wonderful woman who wanted the full traditional service with a $5500.00 solid cherry casket which she cremated her husband in after all was finished. (The hand-wringing rube I worked for at the time was actually UPSET by this. Say what? Don't we wish all cremation families chose full traditional services with a solid cherry casket?)
What would your response be to these folks? Laughter, I hope. As in "laughing all the way to bank."
You see, these good people want what they want, and they are NOT, I repeat NOT afraid of a big tab for their requests. They are also not afraid to search outside of their neighborhood for a provider to give them what they want.
Are you the director to tell them no? Or are you the go-to guy who says "let's see how far we can go with it!"
The good news for you, guerrilla, is that we have so many, many lazy, stupid and unoriginal colleagues in this business who would much rather say "no" and go back to their newspaper or computer Solitaire. You are very likely to get the call instead of them.
The guy who says no quickly fades from memory. The go to guy is the first one to get the call from the family friend who loved what they saw at HST-style service.
Don't forget to laugh on the way to the bank.
Yours in profit,
Dan
PS - Here's a little HST to send us out right:
"Walk tall, kick ass and take no guff from those swine..."
Thanks, Hunter. That's about all for now.
D
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Boost Your Profit by Thousands With A Phone Call!
Happy new year to all!
I hope you've tossed your resolutions to the wayside already...heaven knows I have!
2008 has officially begun. This is the year for the brave souls to really knuckle under and push their businesses beyond all expectations...make more money...make your competitor sweat bullets on sleepless nights...
2008 is the year of the guerrilla!
The guerrilla mindset dropkicks convention and academia right in the pants and opts for the proven, the bold and the innovative.
Your first step?
Stop repeating past mistakes. Don't throw good money after bad. Sacrifice the lamb of ego to the gods of profit!
How does one do that?
Take a good hard look at what marketing tools you employ. Ads, spots, mailings, etc. What's working for you? What isn't?
Immediately drop any piece that you cannot measure results from!
The largest, most offensive WASTE of your marketing dollar?
That innocuous little publication known as the...the phone book.
There are a boatload of "experts" out there that continue to make money for themselves (and Yellow Page sales reps) by pushing this reference book as a sales tool for funeral homes.
Obviously, anyone who has spent any sort of time in this field knows, or should know, that the Yellow Pages is not effective as a marketing tool for a fully-branded funeral home. Unless your firm is the new kid on the block, stop wasting your money! Large ads in the Yellow Pages only benefit the people who sell you the ads!
Last year, I was contacted by one of these "experts" who claimed he could make my Yellow Pages ad into a virtual ATM for the funeral home.
Ummm...yeah. Okay. So give me the name of one of your funeral home clients who has used your ideas and benefitted from it.
Never heard from him again.
People outside of the funeral industry think that you can market us like plumbers, or lawyers or roofers.
CLUELESS! Each and every one of them!
You know why? They've never spent one day in the practical reality inside of a funeral home.
Unless you've spent some time in this field (not simply as an interested observer from the sidelines) you really have no idea what it takes to market a funeral home.
My personal favorite of the clueless options is their suggestion of a special phone number (just for their ad!) so you can track the number of calls generated by that ad.
Now, why in the hell would you want to risk confusing customers who have read/heard/dialed your current number already by introducing a completely different number into the equation?
And even if you do use that different number, is there any reliable way to measure if those calls have translated into sales? Not that I've seen!
And here's what really tells me how much is overspent on Yellow Pages ads...
Go look up Coca-Cola's phone number...or Home Depot....or McDonald's....IN THE YELLOW PAGES.
Bet I can guess what you found: A small ad or in-column listing. Their other marketing efforts support them, not the Yellow Pages. So do yours!
Make sure you have a PRESENCE in the Yellow Pages...a small in-column ad or even a bold listing if you can swing it. Your customers are not going to trade your superior service and comfortable familiarity for your competitor's big pretty ad.
Let him waste his money. Don't let your ego confuse the issue. Call your local Yellow Pages rep and thank him kindly, but for the next directory, you're going to keep it small and simple.
You've just added thousands to your profits!
You're welcome!
I hope you've got fire in your belly for the coming year! It's going to be your best ever!
Here's to us in 2008!
Dan Heaman, CFSP
The Guerrilla Director
PS-I wanted a little extra proof about this theory...I looked up the phone company in their own directory and guess what...a small in-column ad!
Tells you something, doesn't it?
PPS-Church bulletins are highly suspect as far as marketing value, too! There are more powerful ways to connect with that church body than a dinky, useless ad just BEGGING to be ignored!
I hope you've tossed your resolutions to the wayside already...heaven knows I have!
2008 has officially begun. This is the year for the brave souls to really knuckle under and push their businesses beyond all expectations...make more money...make your competitor sweat bullets on sleepless nights...
2008 is the year of the guerrilla!
The guerrilla mindset dropkicks convention and academia right in the pants and opts for the proven, the bold and the innovative.
Your first step?
Stop repeating past mistakes. Don't throw good money after bad. Sacrifice the lamb of ego to the gods of profit!
How does one do that?
Take a good hard look at what marketing tools you employ. Ads, spots, mailings, etc. What's working for you? What isn't?
Immediately drop any piece that you cannot measure results from!
The largest, most offensive WASTE of your marketing dollar?
That innocuous little publication known as the...the phone book.
There are a boatload of "experts" out there that continue to make money for themselves (and Yellow Page sales reps) by pushing this reference book as a sales tool for funeral homes.
Obviously, anyone who has spent any sort of time in this field knows, or should know, that the Yellow Pages is not effective as a marketing tool for a fully-branded funeral home. Unless your firm is the new kid on the block, stop wasting your money! Large ads in the Yellow Pages only benefit the people who sell you the ads!
Last year, I was contacted by one of these "experts" who claimed he could make my Yellow Pages ad into a virtual ATM for the funeral home.
Ummm...yeah. Okay. So give me the name of one of your funeral home clients who has used your ideas and benefitted from it.
Never heard from him again.
People outside of the funeral industry think that you can market us like plumbers, or lawyers or roofers.
CLUELESS! Each and every one of them!
You know why? They've never spent one day in the practical reality inside of a funeral home.
Unless you've spent some time in this field (not simply as an interested observer from the sidelines) you really have no idea what it takes to market a funeral home.
My personal favorite of the clueless options is their suggestion of a special phone number (just for their ad!) so you can track the number of calls generated by that ad.
Now, why in the hell would you want to risk confusing customers who have read/heard/dialed your current number already by introducing a completely different number into the equation?
And even if you do use that different number, is there any reliable way to measure if those calls have translated into sales? Not that I've seen!
And here's what really tells me how much is overspent on Yellow Pages ads...
Go look up Coca-Cola's phone number...or Home Depot....or McDonald's....IN THE YELLOW PAGES.
Bet I can guess what you found: A small ad or in-column listing. Their other marketing efforts support them, not the Yellow Pages. So do yours!
Make sure you have a PRESENCE in the Yellow Pages...a small in-column ad or even a bold listing if you can swing it. Your customers are not going to trade your superior service and comfortable familiarity for your competitor's big pretty ad.
Let him waste his money. Don't let your ego confuse the issue. Call your local Yellow Pages rep and thank him kindly, but for the next directory, you're going to keep it small and simple.
You've just added thousands to your profits!
You're welcome!
I hope you've got fire in your belly for the coming year! It's going to be your best ever!
Here's to us in 2008!
Dan Heaman, CFSP
The Guerrilla Director
PS-I wanted a little extra proof about this theory...I looked up the phone company in their own directory and guess what...a small in-column ad!
Tells you something, doesn't it?
PPS-Church bulletins are highly suspect as far as marketing value, too! There are more powerful ways to connect with that church body than a dinky, useless ad just BEGGING to be ignored!
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